MOUSE, MOUSSE, MOOSE

Jet (my foster mom) always says I need to expand my vocabulary so she gave me a new challenge: mouse, mousse, and moose. Since I’m a smart dog and have already ‘graduated’ to terms like serendipity, it seemed like I was downsizing my brain’s reach by exploring such simple words.

I was wrong.

Humans tend to complicate things and complicating their words is no different. It turns out that ‘mouse’ is not only a rodent (one of my favorite chase toys) but it is also a computer controlling device (huh?) as well as a Minimum Orbital Unmanned Satellite of the Earth.

I was almost afraid to see how complicated ‘mousse’ would be. By definition, it’s a hair styling gel and it’s light food. (You’ve got to be kidding).

Then there is moose (pronounced the same way as mousse) but meaning two completely different things: a large animal with flat antlers and a member of a fraternal organization. None of these interested me until I discovered the flat antler creature. I prefer words I can relate to in some way.

A moose (the animal) turns out to be a very odd looking animal and far too big for me to chase. My grandpa recently sent me a video of a moose that discovers the joys of a sprinkler. Take a few minutes to watch the entire video before reading my closing statements.

http://www.wimp.com/babymoose

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs are happy more often than humans because they find joy in the simplest things: a pat on the head, fetch time with their human. A moose is no different. They can find pleasure in some-thing as simple as… a yard sprinkler. Humans complicate things. – Even words. The more complicated, the further away from the simple real joys of life.

Okay, the question of the day is from Tom who asked: My dad says I have a bum knee. I’m not sure what hobos have to do with my joint but my leg is… cranky. It makes it hard to walk.


Dear Tom:
As humans and canines get older, they often get cranky (their disposition and their joints). I can’t do anything about the attitude but you might consider something called glucosamine to ease the joint discomfort. It works for a lot of humans. Consider diet changes (read info below from http://www.arthritis-cats-dogs.com/arthritis/arthritis-pain-relief.php) but make sure your human talks to your vet about it first.


PER: http://www.arthritis-cats-dogs.com/arthritis/arthritis-pain-relief.php


Change Your Dog’s Diet for arthritis pain relief 

Easy enough and it worked for my dog. Be sure you are providing a high-quality dog food with no added preservatives, food colorings, wheat, corn or soy products. It would be preferable to get a dog food that is low fat AND has low carbohydrates, but unfortunately there is no such thing as a low-carb dog food. Just be aware that grains (which make up a large component of dry dog food) tend to increase inflammation and aggravate arthritis. A better alternative would be to switch to home-prepared meals with either cooked or raw meats and vegetables. 




However, if you don’t want to prepare meals for your pet, then cut back on the dry food and start adding a cup of fresh veggie “salad” every day. Celery is excellent for the joints. I often chop up lettuce, celery, cucumber, some carrot, and any other fresh vegetables I have on hand. Just make sure to cut all vegetables into very small pieces for easy digestion (a food processor is perfect for this) and don’t use onions or mushrooms as they may be toxic to your dog.


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BITE ME

Jet (my foster mom) says one of her favorite greeting cards was a stick figure guy on the front of the card with a pissy expression on his face. When you opened the card, the message on the inside was: Bite Me.

Apparently Jet saw the card right after her divorce and the sentiment (word of the day) seemed to be appropriate. She said the card even made her laugh.

All I could think was, “Why would you want anyone to bite you?”

In fact, as I recall, I bit Jet one time and I assure you she didn’t laugh about it. It was an accident of course. We were playing tug-of-war with a toy. I grabbed, with my teeth, further up on the toy and nailed Jet’s hand with a canine. Nope, Jet didn’t laugh.

Bites hurt. And sometimes, bites don’t heal. Recently my little friend Nokona was bitten. The bite got pissy (like the character on Jet’s card) and within hours the area around the bite was the size of a small puffer fish. - Off to the emergency room goes Nokona.

Although he got lots of antibiotics, the doctors said he would need more treatment. See the photo of Nokona’s icky bite injury below.

The doctor is going to do a little operation on Nokona and all the ick will be gone. I’ll be sure Jet takes “after” pictures to prove the little guy is okay.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Bites or puncture wounds can easily get infected. - Even with immediate treatment and antibiotics. Be sure to watch your dog for these type of injuries and get them examined by a vet -asap.

Okay, the question of the day is from Arty who asked: What’s wrong with the really old humans? Their skin is all saggy.


Dear Arty:
Gravity.



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THE CHAIRS

I saw a strange place this week. Jet, my foster mom, said we were going to visit a special park in a place called Oklahoma. I love parks. I can almost always find lots of squirrels and rabbits to chase in a park.

This park was different. Instead of creatures, it had chairs. They were all over the place. Jet gave me a visual aid below so you can understand what I was seeing.

Jet explained that the chairs were planted (kind of like a tree) in the park to represent people. Why not just plant the people? She said that each chair represented a person who was now in heaven: big chairs for grown up humans; little chairs for kid humans.

…There were a lot of chairs.
What happened to all the people? She said some bad guys blew up the building with all of the humans inside it. I’ve seen cool TV clips showing buildings being blown up but all the people got out first. What would possess one human to blow up other humans?

Jet didn’t have an answer for me.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Chairs should be for sitting in not for use as gravestones.

Okay, the question of the day is from Fester who asked: When I go to doggie daycare the other dogs seem to have a lot of fun. I find it scary.


Dear Fester
Some dogs are like you and find doggie daycare a bit daunting (word of the day). Based on your letter, you’ve only gone a few times. Keep going for a while and see if you don’t get more comfortable. You will probably find that adventuring most of the day with your own kind beats lying on the sofa all day at home. Plus, you will learn social skills; Jet says this is very important for dogs and men.


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APE ART?

Most of my readers are far too young to remember the original Tarzan TV show and movies. – The shows ran way before I was born and featured a chimpanzee named Cheeta.

Today at 71, Cheeta is the oldest chimp in the world. He’s retired in sunny California and enjoys an occasional soda (and beer). Hmmm. Beyond his unusual beverage diet and Hollywood claim to fame, Cheeta has found a second career: painting.

His caretaker calls the paintings Ape-Stracts. You can view a few of his works of art at: http://cheetathechimp.org/donate.htm#painting.
Other examples can be seen below. They look like someone spitting strokes of color on a page. I don’t know that much about art but I think they are okay.

You can buy one of Cheeta’s canvas marvels to provide funds to the Primate Foundation that takes care of his expenses. The foundation even allows you to select the color scheme of the piece you purchase.

I asked my foster mom Jet if I made creative paw prints on paper would anyone buy them as ‘art’. She didn’t answer except to make a snickering sound. I’m trying to figure out what that means in human language.

This entire experience reminds me of a scrawny looking, scrappy dog adopted by one of Jet’s friends. Let me tell you, he is the scraggliest looking canine I have ever seen. They named him Sugar because he’s a sweet little guy but seriously he looks so ugly. Why would anyone want such a crappy looking dog? Jet says that just as Cheeta’s art is special and attractive to some humans, dogs like sugar are too.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Buying lame looking chimp art, like adopting scrappy looking dogs, is easy for humans who have the ability to see the value of investing in the beauty of what’s inside the heart of the artist and the canine.

The question of the day is from Vixie who asked: Why does my dad yell at the television every time this lady called Pelosi is on the screen?


Dear Vixie:
First, I think part of the problem may be that Pelosi isn’t human. My mom calls her something I haven’t found in the dictionary yet. My guess is that your human dad’s explosive reaction to Pelosi has something to do with a human condition called politics. Jet says it’s actually become an inhumane condition that would explain why your dad gets upset about it.


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WHAT’S IN A NAME?

What an exciting day! I am going to see my first prairie dog.

Imagine… a dog that lives on a prairie its entire life. Hmmm, I wonder what is so special about a prairie that you want to live on it for so many years.

So we pull around the corner, Jet (my foster mom) rolls down the window for me and as far as I can see, there are these hippity-hoppity, little critters. I don’t see one dog. Jet explains that what I’m looking at are the prairie dogs. They look like a new breed of rat. - Cute little guys that I would love to chase.

Take a look at these two videos of prairie dogs and I think you’ll agree.





So, here’s my lesson of the day… First, humans need to call things what they are and not what they seem. Prairie Dogs are not ‘dogs’.
All humans would get along better and communicate more easily if they followed this advice. Second, if you ask me “what’s in a name?” then I’ll tell you… A LOT! Before you name your child Beulah or your pet rodent, Prairie Dog, think about the message (and confusion) you’re communicating.

Okay, the question of the day is from Buster who asked: Why do humans eat something different at each meal and dogs have to eat the same food all the time? It doesn’t seem fair.


Dear Buster:
You’re right. It isn’t fair. Then again, life is often not fair. To answer your question more specifically, I’d say the reason humans constantly eat new types of food is that they tend to feed off variety and change. This would also explain why humans often dump one dog (or mate) for a new one without any consideration of whether or not it is really good for their life or family; or humans who elect presidents like Obama who bugle ‘change’ without any thought of whether or not it is good for our country.


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LOST

Mom (that would be Jet) and I were visiting with neighbors. She was telling them about finding a little, lost dog. Jet’s been rescuing and finding critters since she was knee-high to a duck (so says my human grandpa). I’m not sure what a duck has to do with time. Humans are confusing sometimes.

Anyway, this little dog is missing and may be hurt. Jet is a kid but she just knows she can find this dog. She recruits all the kids in the neighborhood to get on their bikes and look EVERYWHERE and more kids to check the fields behind the houses. Hours pass and still no dog. Finally Jet remembers the open construction area nearby and has some of her friends head that way to help her look for the dog. Soon after arriving, she hears something. It’s the darn dog. He’s fallen (or hiding) in a drainage system. She calls her dad and other big humans to help. The dog was confused when he got hurt and got lost.

Jet and I talked about being lost. She says humans get lost all the time. (Really? Even with GPS?) She said even she got lost a few times in her life. What?@#!?

I was a bit surprised because she has a good sense of direction. What I learned is that humans like Jet can be good at geographical directions and suck (her word) at being good at life decision directions.

Who’da thunk?

All this talk about being lost reminds me of a new book: The Lost Dogs. It’s the story about the fighting (pit bull) dogs rescued from that CREEP (the only nice thing I can say about him) Michael Vick who made them fight. Buy it. Most of the rescued dogs have such happy endings AND purchases of the book support the ASPCA. If you want a few details about the book or want to pre-order it. View the link below.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs and humans get lost. Jet says that faith (and a good map) can help a human. As for dogs, she says all you readers need to PAY A-TEN-TION and rescue a lost dog. Or, if you’re on crack (my word) you can rescue a lost cat - NOW. Then, draw your lost dog (or cat) a map to your heart. That’s where home is to a dog. They won’t feel or be lost anymore.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Jeeter who asked: I’m a mutt. (That’s what I hear.) Is that a problem?


Dear Jeeter:
Purebreds (including me) are over-rated kinda like men. Mutts are like America, a mix of the best of breeds. Be proud. Be an American. Be a Mutt.





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Mayhem

I got a friend named Mayhem. He’s a wild-looking, crazy dog a few fries short of a happy meal. On the other hand, the dude is fun to be around.

Mayhem reminds me of the crazy guy on the Allstate Insurance commercials. He’s the personification (word of the day) of mayhem (the verb). It’s hilarious. If you haven’t seen the commercials, here are two of my favorites:





The reason I bring mayhem up (the insurance, not the dog) is because it reminds me (and Jet my foster mom) to consider getting pet insurance.

Review your insurance options. At least that’s what Jet says. She found this ingenious website where you can learn all you need about pet insurance: http://www.trupanionpetinsurance.com/?gclid=CJ6nh-fmvKMCFQ5O2god8H2-bQ. This site has instant price comparisons with multiple vendors – instantly. It even lets you move a thingy on the screen to lower your deductible. (-Whatever that is.) All you do is plug in your zip code and it starts. It’s genius.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Mayhem happens to dogs just as easily as it does to humans and mayhem is EX-PEN-SIVE so get insurance for your humans and for you.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Shrimpy who asked: I’m a dog but I was named after a sea creature. It’s givin’ me a complex.
Any suggestions how to deal with my lame name?


Dear Shrimpy
I don’t answer such lame questions.



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GREAT TRANSFORMATIONS

There is this really cool X-Men enemy. She’s a thing that morphs into other people and creatures. Jet (my foster mom) and I love sci-fi. It’s like make believe on steroids. Even though this morph creature is a bad guy (or girl) I liked her.

Watching the morph girl reminds me of how people and dogs can transform from crummy, dirty, and rough looking to something grand and new. Jet says it happens to humans in different ways: with plastic surgery, with a diet, and sometimes through a spiritual awakening.

Humans use plastic to transform their looks? Hmmm. Diets are not for dogs. Too many of us are starving so we sure don’t want to go on a diet. The spirit thing sounds interesting though.

Dogs transform like humans but it takes shampoo, love, brushing, love, food, love, safety and love. Did I mention love? If you don’t believe me, look at how these dogs transformed from raggedy to awesome.

http://www.petfinder.com/blog/2010/06/14/adoptable-dog-makeover-photos/

Look at these amazing photos of two dogs that were rescued (just in time). They morphed from pathetic to sensational. – Ready for adoption.

http://www.shinepetphotos.com/blog/?cat=10

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If you see a pathetic person or a shabby looking dog, remember that human or critter – we can CHANGE, we can transform. And, if we need to morph into something more appealing before you can love us, so be it but maybe you should consider loving us the way we look.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Cooper who asked: Why do humans put funny things on their feet? I don’t know what they are but I like chewing on them.


Dear Cooper:
Dogs are born with pads on the bottom of their feet. Pads protect our feet and make it easy to walk on rough stuff. Humans aren’t born with pads on the bottom of their feet so they have to put fake pads on. They call them shoes.



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WHEEL OF FORTUNE

What’s up with game night in America?

Mom (Jet) says when she was young games were what kids played outside (chase, hide and seek, red light; green light, kick the can) and what adults played around a board (42 or Bridge). I’m not sure why playing with a signal light would be fun or why kicking a can (unless it has dog food in it) would be entertaining but Jet swears it made for great times. She said it’s all about the camaraderie (word of the day) during the game not the game itself.

These days kids play avatar type electronic games on itty-bitty TV devices and adult humans watch game shows (Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Are You Smarter than a 5the Grader?) on the big screen TV.

I think humans watching shows to prove they are smarter than 5th graders proves they are worried about NOT being smarter than a 5th grader. All these human games are with gadgets instead of with other humans. Good or bad, insightful learning (Disney calls it edutainment) usually comes from interaction with people not screens. So why is that so few humans spend time with each other like they used to in the olden days?

Did humans get too lazy to learn?
Did humans stop believing that learning had value?
Did humans decide learning wasn’t entertaining enough?
or did humans just decide being alone was better than being with others?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Time with my dog pals is the best time. I bet if you think about it, you human readers would realize you learn and have more fun with your own kind than with a stupid screen. Try it a few times this week. I bet I’m right.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Rodeo who asked: My dad and I went to a cool joint where the humans sit outside with the dogs. (Very chic.) I’m a California guy so I would know. The humans sit on funky chairs and the dogs have low-to-the-ground bone benches. Anyway, I want to know why there aren’t more restaurants where humans and canines can dine together.


Dear Rodeo:
I assume your name is pronounced like the street off Wilshire not the horse and cow reference. The reason why there are still so few places for humans and dogs to hang out together over a good meal is because (as far as I can tell) humans still haven’t figured out how to cook for dogs and people on the same stove.



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THE DOG HOUSE

What a night! Jet (my foster mom) had popcorn; I had doggie treats. We power-lounged on the couch and watched hockey. It was sort of a pre-season warm up game. You ain’t kidding. It’s 101 degrees outside.

The true nature of the game evades me but I loved the fact that humans will fetch balls (or… pucks) with as much verve (word of the day) as dogs.

Everything is fast and the guys are all rascally. A striped-like human yells a lot during the game and he kicked one of the players off the ice and in to a penalty box. I was a bit confused about this directive. Jet says it’s like when a little kid does something bad and they have to sit in the corner for a time out or when a guy is in the doghouse.

This was even more confusing to me. I LIKE my doghouse and what does a kid’s timeout have to do with grown hockey players? Jet turned my way to explain further.

“When kids do something bad, they usually have to stop playing and then quietly sit in a corner for at least five minutes. Humans call this a ‘time out’. It’s kind of like when you do something bad (who me?) and I scold you and make you go to the backyard awhile when you’d rather be in the air conditioned house. When hockey players, who are basically large kids, do something bad to another player then he is forced to leave the fun and sit in a box. When human men do stupid bad things to upset a human woman, we say ‘he’ in the doghouse’.

I wondered, if bad humans are in the doghouse then why is it then when I’m in trouble I have to go outside rather than stay in the nice human house?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Human or dog, we all do dumb stuff sometimes that will upset the ones we love. Punishment can be a time in a box or a suit in a doghouse. What I like about being a dog though is that humans forgive you quickly and it’s like nothing happened. Humans should consider being the same way to one another and forgive their bad stuff like nothing happened. I think they’d have more fun.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Quaker who asked: Why do other humans call our mom and dad, Stacy and Bud?


Dear Quaker:
Humans are so special that they have labels AND they have names. The labels describe their roles (mom and dad or IT technician and builder); their name is what you call them if they aren’t your parents: Bud and Stacy. Hope I didn’t confuse you. What’s important is that you have a mom and dad.


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THE LIGHTBULB MAN

I’m walking down a city sidewalk with Jet (my foster mom) only to look up and see a tall businessman (suit and all) walking towards us. He stopped and talked to Jet. He had a light bulb on his tie with a zipper pull cord hanging down from it to ‘turn it on’.

No I’m not kidding.

Jet calls him the bright idea guy. I would call him…eccentric. (Word of the day plus I get points for being diplomatic.)

After he moved on, I asked Jet if he had to pull the cord in order to come up with an idea. (LOL.) She said he didn’t actually need the bulb or cord to come up with imaginative ideas; the bulb was just a prop, advertising. Hmmm.

Jet also said humans use other things to help them hatch new ideas: showers, a run in the park, meditation, brainstorming with other humans, to name a few. She says some of the greatest ideas ever were born out of unexpected moments. It seems like a lot of work just to hatch an idea. Why not hatch something more practical like bones or a baby bird?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If it helps to use a prop or weird distraction to give birth to an idea then go for it. Why not? However, don’t forget that one of the best ideas ever hatched is just enjoying a distraction.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Stuffie who asked: Why do some dogs want to be famous like a movie star?

Dear Stuffie:
Narcissism.



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WHAT’S AN FGO?

It’s crazy around the house. My foster mom Jet is running around trying to get dressed for a big meeting. She’s trying to find her FGO. I don’t know what that is but it must be special like a bone because she sounds pretty desperate to find it.

“What’s an FGO?” I ask.

It turns out an FGO is a ‘Feel Good Outfit’ or clothes that make her feel like she could conquer the world because she feels like a million bucks in them. I know I’m a dog but I’d rather have the million bucks than the outfit.

Jet says that there are certain things that make a person successful. Some of these things are objective (word of the day) and others are subjective. She says that there is no proof (subjective) that an outfit you wear will make you successful but wearing certain clothes (FGOs, for example) will make you feel like you are successful even if it’s a bad hair day and you feel like a loser. Hmmm.

She also says there are other things like IQ (that help a person be successful) and a healthy EQ (emotional intelligence) that serve as a scientifically proven measure for success. Geez, all these acronyms are a bit confusing. To prove her point, she through out one of her hotshot Daniel Goleman stats: 85 percent of a top executive’s success in leadership is attributable to a healthy emotional intelligence.

It must be complicated to be a successful human compared to a successful dog. All a dog needs to be successful is a human that cares for them so they can provide licks and love. A human seems to ‘need’ a lot more than this to be successful. Really?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Success is important. If you’re a dog, being a success comes down to finding a loving home and the arms of a caring human. For a human it should be the same thing.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from A.J. who asked: Why is it that humans expect us to speak their language (sit, treat, stay) but they don’t bother to learn/speak our language?


Dear A.J.
French speak French in France. It is the language of their land. Americans speak English in their land because it is the language of their nation. You’re a dog living in America so you should speak English too.



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DREAM, DON’T DAYDREAM

Jet and I were sitting at a red light the other day. Correct that, Jet (my foster mom) and I were sitting at a red light - forever. I’m a rat terrier. We’re pretty energetic dogs and sitting isn’t really our best attribute. Jet is very loving but not very patient. In fact, Jet says she doesn’t pray for patience for fear it would be torturous if God tried to teach it to her.

Back to the story… The red light was fine. What wasn’t okay was sitting in the same spot when the red light turned GREEN. The ding-a-lings, two cars in front of us, were daydreaming through the green light. Since I was stuck at the same intersection again, it seemed appropriate to ponder dreaming versus daydreaming.

Dreaming is nice. Jet says her favorite dream is when she flies. Hmmm. My favorite dream is when I dig up a bone and just as I grab the bone out of the ground, another bone appears. She’s rewarded with the freedom of flight; I’m rewarded with food. Jet says dreaming also helps visualize what you want to achieve. … Like running? I ask this because the dog in the video below seems to want to run really badly.



Dreamers (dogs and humans) are simply warming up to do something great; daydreamers miss opportunities because they aren’t paying attention when the starting engine of opportunity for their dream turns green.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dreaming (for humans and dogs) is a good thing. It’s like giving birth to a vision in your head before in its born in your life. Its been said that this is a key ingredient to success. Daydreaming, on the other hand, just gives the mind (and the driver) an excuse to delay a dream.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Shane who asked: I’m in trouble because I scratched up the funky wooden chest in the living room. My humans call it distressed wood and it looks like hell so what difference does it make if I add a few scratches?


Dear Shane:
Good point. Why worry if something looks bad if it was designed to look ragged in the first place? Simply put, I can’t think of a logical answer for you. Humans are just weird sometimes. Proof is their concern for worn out scratched wood that they don’t want you to scratch.



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