THE BEST HOUSEHOLD OBJECT

My pal Fenini (he’s a hoity-toity French poodle with an Italian name). He says his favorite item in ‘his’ house is the giant mirror in the foyer.  (- That’s a fancy French word for the entry of a home.)  Where as most dogs favor a bed (any bed) as their favorite household item, Fenini loves one object: a mirror. Why you ask?  The mirror is the one place Fenini can stare at himself all day. Geez. 

Personally, I like Jet’s pillow.  It smells like her perfume and even though I’m a dog and we generally prefer all types of smells, most canines are partial to anything that has a scent of Eau de Owner on it. 

Fenini and I are arguing about our favorite household things when it dawned upon me: humans spend a lot of time (and money) on grooming themselves.  Even my fancy friend dogs like Fenini only get groomed once a month and Rumple, my trashcan buddy (he loves dumpster diving) only gets a bath once a week.   My editor and I found a fascinating chart that shows how much time humans apply to different things.  (Go to: http://time-spent.findthebest.com/)  Check it out.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs look at a day as time well spent if they eat, greet, sleep; play, poop.  What else is more important? Instead of a dog (example, Fenini) becoming so human that mirrors become important, humans should become more dog-like and remember what really is important.

Okay, the question of the day is from Shivers who asked:  I LOVE food.  I especially love different types of human food.  Can I ask my mom and dad to give me more samples of the food they eat?

Dear Shivers:

I realize you love food but all foods (and treats) should be ingested in moderation and some foods a dog should avoid.  Cuddle up to your human and take the dog-food quiz (at the link below) to see how smart both of you are about what you should and should not eat.   It’s a fun way to test your knowledge and will protect you too.

http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz19784416a7868.html

WHAT IS THANKSGIVING?

This is Nokona’s first Thanksgiving.  He was only a few months old last year so he doesn’t remember it much.  A few days ago, the little guy asked me about the holiday so I decided to teach him what a dog should know about Thanksgiving.  I think there are probably a few humans out there that need to be reminded about what this special season means too.

Let’s start with the beginning.  Thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims or suddenly being kind to cats.  (Jet, my foster mom, does say that being good to cats is a nice thing to do though.) 

No, I think this holiday is about a time for Thanks and Giving.  Let me give you some pointers (my personal checklist) to help you humans understand what canines are born knowing: the essentials in life are really the gifts of thanks and giving.

THANKS (for)                                                GIVING                                            

         Being rescued from the pound                  Give another rescued dog (like

         before being euthanized                           me) a home.

         Two meals a day instead of                      Give funds to buy ‘space’ in

 

in; the safe house I rest in                       a local shelter for a dog/cat to

                                                              sleep in 

         The warm, cuddly bed I sleep                   Give funds to buy ‘space’ in

in; the safe house I rest in                       a local shelter for a dog/cat to

                                                               sleep in

         The shiny fur that has replaced                  Give attention to a street dog

         my old mange-covered body                     and wash/treat fur their fur

         Playtime with my foster mom;                  Give your time. Put down the

the toys I get to chew on                          PDA, the iPod, turn off the TV &

      play with your pet.

         The grand love of my foster                      Give your support by fostering

         mom who treats me like I’m                     a dog or cat in 2011

         the best thing in her life

         For:____________________                  Give _____________________

        

So, here’s my lesson of the day… During this holiday, show your thanks by fulfilling all the assignments on your ‘giving’ list.  These gestures will taste better than any Thanksgiving turkey or pumpkin pie.

Okay, the question of the day is from Derby who asked:  Christmas is just around the corner. It’s time to start working on a list of gifts I want.  Any ideas?

Dear Derby:

Personally, I think you should be more concerned about what to give to your humans and fellow family pets during the holiday but if you must focus on you, consider watching the new TV show “You’re Pet Wants this Too".  It airs on the Animal Planet channel and features innovative gadgets and toys for pets.

FLUSHING: A DOG'S PERSPECTIVE

If you’re an animal lover, you know that dogs have a funny fascination for toilets.  I can’t really explain why but they are special to us.  They have interesting smells and despite your disgust we even like to drink out of them.  There’s even a company that makes dog toilet drinking bowls.  (See photo below.)

When you put stuff in toilets, it disappears.  This process is what humans refer to as ‘flushing’.  (I know this for a fact because I dropped one of my toys in the toilet and hit the handle thing and – whoosh – my toy vanished.) You gotta appreciate a dog’s joy for simple distractions.  

I was sharing flushing stories with Jet (my foster mom) and she said humans should remember how critical flushing is to their health. 

Huh?

Jet used to teach practical wellness for executive workshops and kick-boxing classes.  One of her goals was to get humans to drink more water to help ‘flush’ their body of toxins.  (– And all this time I thought flushing was just a fun distraction for dogs.)

The way Jet explains it, “Our body is like a giant toilet.”  Cool!  As we ingest food our body produces waste.  Water helps us dump the toxins and waste more quickly and efficiently. Since most humans are chronically dehydrated (beer does not count as water) then most people are like walking toilets that haven’t been flushed all day.  (This is even gross to a dog.)

Personally, I will never view a toilet in the same way again.  Jet also says that water is great for improving your brainpower.  Why?  The brain is made of about 85% water molecules.  When we are dehydrated, our stress hormones go up, our mental performance goes down as much as 10%, we become tired, un-alert and irritable.

Geez, I just wanted to talk about how fun it is to flush a toilet.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… In a dog’s world, a toilet is just an interesting place to watch stuff disappear.  In a human’s world, the toilet should be a regular reminder to drink more water so your body flushes as often as your toilet flushes.

Okay, the question of the day is from Shauncie who asked:  My humans were all excited yesterday about getting a new cash cow.  Does this cow make cash instead of milk?

Dear Shauncie:

I can’t tell if you’re young and naïve or simply a few fries short of a Happy Meal so I’ll keep my answer easy for you.  The term ‘cash cow’ is what humans refer to as some type of business that creates a lot of money beyond their initial investment.  What does a cow have to do with this?  Read explanation below from: wise geek.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-cash-cow.htm

The classic example of a cash cow is a milk cow. Milk cows require a small capital outlay when they are acquired, and minimal mainten-ance costs afterwards. In return for their low maintenance costs, milk cows generate milk throughout their adult lives, along with calves. Since the 1600s, people were using “milch cow” to refer to a profitable venture; the modern term “cash cow” emerged around the 1970s.

WHEN THE CRAP HITS THE FAN

Stuff happens.  Sometimes that ‘stuff’ isn’t so good.  If you’re anything like the little guy below, you may tend to cover your eyes and try to pretend you don’t notice the bad stuff or pretend the crud in life will some how be gone when you uncover your eyes.

That’s just not how it works.

Jet, my foster mom, says there is no rhyme or reason sometimes for the tough things that occur in a dog’s life.  She says humans are not immune to challenges. 

Jet’s full of insights so I asked her, “What’s a dog (or human) to do when the crap hits the fan?

First: don’t whine.  (Geez, I’m a dog so this just doesn’t seem fair.)

Two: say a prayer.  (I’m on it.)

Three: Think (but not too much).  What can you do to overcome the problem?  Who can you go to for guidance?  What are your options? 

Four: Learn.  Make sure you get some worthwhile lesson out of the crummy situation so you don’t feel all the pain was completely without merit.

Five: Act.  And as Benjamin Franklin used to say, “Don’t confuse motion with action.”

So, here’s my lesson of the day… You can’t close your eyes and wish a problem away.  Hiding solves nothing (for dogs or humans) so get off the couch Potato Head, say a prayer, make a plan and get your mojo on.

Okay, the question of the day is from Spud who asked:  One of my favorite toys is one of my parent’s pill bottles filled with a treat or a few bits of my food.  – It takes forever for me to get in to the bottle but the reward is grand.

Dear Spud:

Tell your parents (from me): “Bad humans! Bad humans! Bad humans!” Never use human pill bottles as a toy.  You never know when you or one of your canine pals will get hold of a pill bottle filled with medicine (something bad for us but good for humans).  Want a cheap (but safe) treat toy? ...Go to the $1 store.

TUG OF WAR

I’m watching Nokona and Piper play tug of war with a toy.  What is it about dogs that they always want the possessions of others? These two knuckleheads (photo below) are the worst about it.  Piper (the spotted one) doesn’t much like toys but she does like stealing the toys that Nokona is playing with because she knows it irritates him. 

It seems humans are not much different sometimes.  They play tug of war sans the toy.  Instead of fighting over toys, they fight over issues, opinions or getting what they want.  This seems especially true when it comes to politics.

What’s up with all this fighting?  - Conservatives versus liberals, republicans versus democrats.  Seriously, don’t the yahoos in D.C. all work for the same boss: Americans? 

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Tug of war is for kids who want to fight over toys not for humans that want to argue over issues.  My advice to politicians (and humans):

1.  Leave the tug-of-war rope at home.

2.  Whatever it is your tugging back and forth about... Write a shared goal down on the

     outside of a large coffee can so both sides can see it.  

3.  Place the can in the center of a table between you and the other guy your tugging 

     against.

4.  Focus on the goal written on the can instead of each other.  

5.  Remember you are there to serve US not you.

6.  Try a little compromise and get something achieved for your country.

 

Okay, the question of the day is from Mollie who asked:  My mom watches a human show called Blue Bloods.  Do these humans really have blue blood?

Dear Mollie:

I’m familiar with the show.  My mom often watches it too because it’s on Friday nights when she’s says her brain is toast and she’s too tired to go out.  The ‘blue’ referred to is not literally running through the veins of the humans but soaring in the spirit of the humans because they are police humans. It’s the blue spirit reflective of their blue uniform. - Strictly a figure-of-speech.  God bless these men and women because they wear the blue (in their heart and on their sleeve) but when they get injured, they bleed red just like the rest of us.  Next time you see a police officer, give them a good sloppy lick of thanks on the face.

SO CLOSE; SO FAR

Ever pursue a goal with all your might? Did you ever get so close but still find it impossible to get your paws (sorry, hands) on the goal? 

It kind of reminds me of my neighbor’s cat (Twinkles).  He is a rescue from a farm so he's had more mice to eat than traditional cat food.  As a result, any small, rodent-like critter (say… hamsters) is on Twinkle’s goal list of things to obtain. However, wanting his human’s pet hamsters doesn’t make it so.  Dogs get this notion better than humans.

Dogs understand you may want something really bad and not necessarily get it.  You may work real hard for that bone but it doesn't appear the next day.  Dogs believe that you have to enjoy the chase for something (a rabbit, a squirrel for us; a dream, a client contract for humans).  The chase has to be as much a source of joy so when you don’t get what you want, you don’t feel so disappointed that your life seems cheated. 

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Sometimes achieving the goal or bringing a dream to fruition is the end game but just as many times, you’ll get close to something you want really bad but never obtain it.  Enjoy the chase more, give up the chase less and it will all work out for the best.

Okay, the question of the day is from Cheech and Chong who asked:  Our humans named us Cheech and Chong.  Why is it that every time we’re introduced to other humans, people snicker about our names?

Dear Cheech and Chong:

As soon as I stop laughing, I’ll respond to your inquiry.

A LITTLE KINDNESS

There are a series of television commercials that give the viewer snapshot moments of one human doing something kind for another human.  You may have seen them.  In one ad, a lady stops a guy from stepping in front of a car, another man picks up an infant’s toy, one tall guy pulls something off a tall shelf for a short guy.  You get the idea. Simple gestures of kindness.

The snapshot below is the same type of thing… A kid holding the water button down so his dog could get a drink of water.  It cost the kid nothing but a little time just as the good deeds in the commercials cost the humans nothing but a little time.  But the recipient, human or dog, will remember and appreciate the gesture forever.  - That's a lot of impact for a moment of kindness.  What other 'investment' of your time would have such a great ROI?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Some of the sweetest moments in life, some of the most valuable gifts we give cost nothing but a little time and a little kindness.  Try doing this every day and you’ll feel like the wealthiest human in the world within a week because your life will be rich with what matters.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Zipper who asked:  What’s envy?  My human mom said my human dad was ‘green with envy’ for his best friend’s new golf clubs.

Dear Zipper:

Dogs, much like early Native Americans, don’t understand envy (wanting what someone else has) because we are not greedy (wanting more than we need).  You may have a bone and I might want a bone but I don’t hate you or envy you for having a bone.  Native Americans have the same view because they don’t possess stuff. What they have is of and from the earth and not to be owned but applied, appreciated, and shared. So, I can give you a definition of envy but for the life of me, I can’t explain why humans engage in such a practice.

FUTURE THINK

There’s a cool Pacific Life (insurance) commercial running on TV these days.  You can see on YouTube.com.  It’s called: Recordings.

The ad tells the story about how in 1968 humans finally got to hear the sounds of a special giant fish called a whale. I’m not sure why but maybe the whales were taking up too much space in the ocean because certain humans were annihilating the whales.  There were fewer and fewer in the water.  Then the first recordings of their soulful sing-songy sounds were broadcast.  Boom! It was as if humans realized they were living beings for the first time and there was an international outcry to stop killing them before their existence in the future was nonexistent.  Their population began to grow.  Pacific Life says that the whale represents “what is possible when people stop and think about the future.”

Dogs don't think too much about the future. They tend to think about what’s in front of them.  By thinking about what is in the present, we tend to give a human all we are and all we have whereas multi-tasking humans tend to give us their leftover selves.

Thinking about the future is something humans are supposed to be good at and yet I’m not so sure.  Just like the Pacific Life commercial tells it, humans really didn’t think too much about annihilating the future of whales until the music of their language made their presence real to humans.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… It seems to me that humans, for all their intelligence, still have so much to learn.  Dogs may not be so good about thinking about the future but we rock when it comes to living and contributing to the present.  Humans on the other hand, divvy out parts of themselves to the present and almost nothing to the future except those issues that appear either jeopardized or in the spotlight.  It seems humans should try being here now with us (dogs) and thinking about what their actions today will do to their tomorrow BEFORE their tomorrow is annihilated.

 

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Gobbles who asked: My leg was amputated because of something called cancer.  I get around okay but worry my kind won’t be attracted to me as much or that humans might not want to hang out with me anymore.  Do you think this is true? Note: please don’t make fun of my name.  My self-esteem is already low.  I got the stink’in name because I was born on Thanksgiving.

Dear Gobbles:

I like your name. You shouldn’t worry about losing the love and companionship of humans and dogs just because you lost a leg.  People love your heart (which still beats strongly in your chest) not your leg. 

IS ONE MISTAKE YOUR FUTURE?

There was a shyster in the news recently.  He was a dog trader who was charging too much for half-breed rather than purebred dogs.  (Personally, we’re all purebred’s to God but humans seem to think it is important to differentiate the two.)

They caught the guy and he did a little time.  Now he’s out of the big house (dog house to me) and ready to go back to selling puppies.  I asked Jet, “Should we trust him to do the right thing now?  She didn’t answer for a REALLY long time.  Then she said, “Is one mistake a pattern?”

I hate when humans answer a question with a question.

No. One mistake does not make a pattern so I guess Jet’s point is that the guy should get another chance to make a new (better) future.  On the other hand, how many chances do you get before there is a pattern of mistakes? When is it time to cut loose from a chronic mistake type person, client, marriage, or job?  Is it when the stress level in your life sits on ‘astronomical’ two months straight?  Is it when you grow an ulcer?  Is it when life looks better on the other side of anywhere else than where you are at the time?  How long do you hang on (and at what cost)?

I’m a dog.  I don’t have the answers to these questions.  Funny thing is that most humans don’t know the answers to these questions.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Just because you don’t know the answers, don’t stop asking questions.  Just because you make one mistake, you don’t have to make your life a mistake.

 

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Dolly who asked:  I just saw something very strange: a big reindeer giving birth to another reindeer.

Dear Dolly:

You seem real sweet which is probably a good thing because I’m not sure you’re real bright.  You’ve witnessed the birth of an elk.  I’d give this a “10” on the ‘wow’ factor.