Greater Than Us

WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHES?

2011-04-04T07:06:00.000-05:00

Why do humans wear watches? Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective. Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in our ears. Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question: "Why do humans want to wear watches?" I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws). I shared this observation with a group of Gen Xers and they smugly responded, “We don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones (which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords or another leash) to check the time. My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts.

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if they can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 and 11:00 am.”

- Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose, sometimes. For instance, they help you go to meetings on time. On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do. Take the watch off or simply stop living your life around a watch. It's just ticking metal.

Okay, the question of the day is from Piddles who asked: Dear Parker, I have enough fur to sink the Titanic. This is great if I was cruising in Alaska but I live in Florida where it is so hot in spring and summer. I’d like to get clipped but my parents are older and can’t afford a groomer. They would clip me but they have… rthitus. What should I do?

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog doesn't care who clips them – groomer or grandma. Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor (who has full use of their hands) to clip off your winter coat. Your humans will enjoy the visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year. No dog should have to suffer in such heat and less fur makes a real difference.

WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHES

2011-04-04T06:56:00.002-05:00

Why do humans wear watches? Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective. Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in a dog’s ears. Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question as to why humans want to wear them. I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws). I shared this observation with a group of Generation Xers and they smugly responded, “Most of us don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones, which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords, to check the time. My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts.

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if you can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 am and 11:00 am.” - Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose sometimes: help you go to meetings on time for instance. On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do them. Hmmm. Maybe the ‘leash’ is just in a human’s head.

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog could care less who clips them – groomer or grandma. Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor to clip off your winter coat. They have a nice visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.

WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHE

2011-04-04T06:55:00.000-05:00

Why do humans wear watches? Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective. Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in a our ears. Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question, "Why do humans want to wear watches?" I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws). I shared this observation with a group of Gen Xers and they smugly responded, “We don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones (which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords) to check the time. My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts.

Think about it.

- Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose sometimes. For instance, they help humans go to meetings on time. On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do. Hmmm. (Maybe the ‘leash’ is just in a human’s head.) Either take off your watch or at least unleash yourself from living your life around it.

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog could care less who clips them – groomer or grandma. Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor to clip off your winter coat. They will have a nice visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.

WHERE DO WE BELONG?

2011-03-28T08:02:00.000-05:00

If you ask a dog where he or she belongs, they will say something like, “In a human’s lap,” or “In a loving home.” I’m a foster dog so this is a no brainer.

If you ask a human where they belong, you might get the same answer if he or she was a foster child but for the most part humans don’t appear to know where they belong. What’s the point of having so much intelligence (higher IQs than dogs) if you can’t use it to know yourself well enough to find your place in life? Case in point:

Fact: Research suggests that at least 54% of the human population is not self-aware enough to self-report accurately.

Fact: 86% of the time, a person’s self perception does not align with reality making it difficult to determine whether a business owner is hiring the right person for the job based on what the recruit is reporting on a typical assessment.

Fact: A recent Herman Trends Report noted that 50-80% of workers are in jobs for which their personality and interests really aren't well matched. In fact, eight out of 10 employees are miscast in the right job.

There is a cool personality/emotional intelligence (EQ) profiling tool called CORE that helps humans figure themselves out so they are more likely to find more fulfilling work because they realize the work they are best suited to do. All in all, a dog’s ‘work’ is to take care of humans but we have other jobs including serving as eyes for blind humans, rescuing humans after a natural disaster, to name a few. Sometimes we are like humans and we are placed into jobs that aren’t best for us.

I watched a hospital reality show this weekend about a German Shepherd that was hired to help the security guys in the emergency room. He was supposed to help police officers in the hospital to subdue bad people that tried to do bad things in the hospital. When a crazed patient attacked doctors, the German Shepherd was brought in to help but he cowered instead of trying to fight. He’s in the wrong job.

Later, when a child came to the hospital screaming with pain, the Shepherd went to him and comforted the child. The child calmed down and the doctor took care of him.

Now the Shepherd ‘works’ in the hospital to calm patients rather than attack them. He's in the right job.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If you have a human lap to sit in or a loving home to stay in, then you really have all you need as a dog but if your purpose extends beyond this, then try to make sure that your dog is in the right ‘job’. Just as this is best for a human, it is best for a dog too.

Okay, the question of the day is from Skitter who asked: Dear Parker, why does my human mom spray stuff on the flowers in her garden to make them stink? Although I LOVE the stinky smell, most humans want flowers to smell sweet.

Dear Skitter:

I suspect you are talking about a product called ‘Deer Off’. It smells like something dead that a dog would bring into the house to chew on. Yum. Humans use it on their flowers to keep deer, rabbits and other critters from eating their flowers. Works good and it won’t hurt us (dogs).

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

2011-03-07T11:24:00.000-06:00

Frat the cat (my cryptic illustration below) is my friend.

I can’t explain why exactly since I don’t much like cats. I’m a rat terrier and we generally find them either annoying or more like a toy to chase. There’s something about Frat’s chronic deadpan facial expression and bone-dry sense of humor. The more miserable he tries to look, the more just looking at him makes me laugh. Which leads me to my point in today’s blog entry.

I don’t invite cats into my life yet here he is: Frat. Jet, my foster mom, says sometimes we get the friends we need. As a career dog and professional blog columnist, or dogamist as I like to call myself, I can be so serious. Deadlines and topic issues are always on my dog mind. Frat’s face makes me laugh. The humor is good for my dog soul.

I’ve heard of other strange pals that dog’s hooked up with over time including a dog with a bird, a goat, an elephant and a horse. They make for strange bedfellows but maybe it’s what they need rather than want humans think they want.

Humans might consider this concept. Jet had a friend (Katy) that kept attracting old people. They were kind of tough to hang out with at wine-thirty (because they kept nodding off) but Katy did find her time with these senior citizens more…enriching. She ended up changing her work place from physical therapist (PT) in a hospital to a PT in a retirement home. She loves it.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Humans are always trying to get one dog another dog for companionship. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but maybe our ideal ‘companion’ is not what you think. The same may be for a human. If you’re not attracting the friends you want, take a closer look because you may be attracting the friends you need. If that seems to be the case, you might find this odd friend a bit of a strange bedfellow and yet exactly what you need.

Okay, the question of the day is from WIFI who asked: Dear Parker, my little girl human wants an ant farm? Does this mean we will have to move to a farm? I hope not. I like the city life.

Dear Wifi:

I bet you got your name from that new TV commercial. Pretty cool.

Okay, let me explain that an ant farm is where humans can observe ants ‘farming’ soil to create their homes and channels to get from one point to another point. It’s not really a farm or ranch so you don’t have to move. Humans buy these ant farms at educational stores or toy stores. See example below. If you and your human want to experience an ant farm then tour one inside like the kind in the second photo below. Pretty farm out – huh?

PICK UP YOUR POOP

2011-02-28T11:24:00.000-06:00

Jet, my foster mom, has found it hard to live in a neighborhood where owners have to pick up their dogs’ poop. She grew up in the sticks where dogs did their deed anywhere and there was no neighbor, law enforcement officer or Home Owner’s Association who cared about it.

Having said that, it is the rule in our neighborhood and she carries colorful, eco-friendly bags to pick up my poop when we go on walks. Since I spend more time with humans than dogs, I notice that there should be a rule where humans need to pick up their poop too. Now before you get bent out of shape about what this implies, let me clarify.

Humans are constantly making ‘messes’ in other peoples’ yards (litter), other peoples’ lives (divorces, child custody fights) and businesses (theft, fraud). It may look one way but in truth, it’s just another type of poop one human drops on another human’s life.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Stop ‘dropping’ all these problems on other humans. When you do drop poop on other people’s lives, pick it up instead of leaving your mess for someone else to clean up.

Okay, the question of the day is from Miso who asked: Dear Parker, you should see my new figure. I had gained a lot of weight but I only ate what was given me so I couldn’t understand why I kept getting fatter and my joints were failing under the extra weight. My mom got “pre-measured food” and it’s working.

Dear Miso:

Love your name… like Miso Soup. Cute. I’m thrilled to hear your weight is where it should be. Even though most dogs should have measured food portions, most humans fail to actually serve the correct amount. One of the veterinarian approved products on the market today that is ideal for solving this problem is called Prescription Diet. The box contains pre-packaged food and treats in individual packets. (See photo below.) This ensures you are only served what you should be eating at each meal.

ATTRACTING WHAT?

2011-02-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

Nature is a great teacher if you’re paying attention. For example, watch what a grown

Killdeer will do if you get too close to its babies. This bird is renowned for it’s ‘broken wing’ impression (see photo below). When predators get too close to their young, one of the parents will zoom in front of the predator and pretend it has a broken wing. The weak attract the strong. The attention of the hunter moves to the parent while the baby bird moves to safety. About the time the hunter gets to the parent bird, they fly away.

In the case of the Killdeer, the parent bird is purposely attracting danger to save their babies but its orchestrated and timed to save them all. Attracting danger to a nest is different. Notice that you will never (or seldom) see birds build their nests near bird feeders. Why? Bird feeders attract a lot of birds and when you have many birds, you attract hawks in the air and cats on the ground. – Predators you don’t want near baby birds and nests. Again, the birds only attract what they know is best for all.

Humans are funny. They seem to attract what they feed versus what they need. What I mean is, they feed their ego with fancy cars and clothes when what they need is more money in their savings account; they feed their drug addictions when what they need is a clear head to sort out what is fueling the pain that the drugs seem to temporarily neutralize.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… I realize that humans think that animals, pets, critters are not near as smart as they are but it seems to me that we are better than humans at attracting what we need than what we feed. The lesson? Humans should take a hard look at what they attract in their life because too many of you do things that attract predatory problems you feed versus the safety and support you need.

Okay, the question of the day is from Fooie who asked: Dear Parker, my parents (human) had a home fire drill with the kids and I. I’m not sure what to make of it? Can you explain the purpose for me?

Dear Fooie:

All families should sit down together and practice what to do if there is a fire in your home. What if a kid is trapped in a bedroom, do they know how to get out through a window? Did your humans post a sign on and/or near all the doors in your house to indicate there are pets inside so rescuers know to look for you? You can get these door and window ‘pet inside’ notices from the ASPCA or make your own but be sure, before there is an emergency, that it is done.

SIGNIFICANCE

2011-02-14T06:59:00.000-06:00

Okay, call me corny but I like just about every show on Animal Planet and another TV program called Extreme Makeover. If you haven’t seen Extreme Makeover, it’s a show where a special family that has either endured really tough times and/or has spent their life helping others to the point of living in a raggedy house. Extreme Makeover people send these families on vacation and while they are gone construct an extreme, new home for them. The happy ending (when the family gets a new home) is better than any fairy tale.

A guy on one of the Extreme Makeover shows was explaining why he and his family sacrificed so much for others. He said, “You can be successful and not be significant.” I had to think about that one. I’m a dog and we tend to see things in a simple manner (which might not be a bad idea for most humans). It seemed the logical place to work this out in my head was by understanding the meaning of each word.

Success: Attainment of fame, wealth, or power; something that turns out well; achievement of intention

Significant: meaningful, momentous and influential, substantial

I thought about how hard humans work to be 'successful'. Usually their ‘success’ is tied to something they call a job or career in exchange for green paper they use to purchase stuff like art, boats, clothes, jewelry, golf clubs and such. - All things a dog can’t use or appreciate. When you feed a starving dog, that’s meaningful, when you volunteer for a shelter fundraiser, that’s momentous, when you foster an unloved animal, that’s substantial.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… It seems to me that the Home Makeover guy was on to something. Just by definition, doing things that are significant seem to be a lot more worthwhile than doing things that humans call successful. I’d challenge all humans to consider how they spend their time in 2011 to passionately pursue (like a dog does a bone) significance, not success.

Okay, the question of the day is from Spot who asked: Dear Parker, my teeth are in bad shape. I keep trying to tell my human how important it is to keep them clean through special gum chews from the vet and brushing but they don’t listen. My teeth hurt. Isn’t this bad?

Dear Spot:

Taking care of a dog’s teeth is very important. One, you need them to chew. After you lose your 28 baby teeth, you’ll end up with 42 permanent teeth. -The point being the word ‘permanent’. To keep them, you must take care of them.

Two, gum disease from tartar creates all sorts of bacteria that can end up in other parts of your body which can damage your kidneys, heart, intestines and joints. Talk to your vet and they will get your humans to take better care of your teeth. If they don't, use the teeth you have left and bite them until they get the point.

HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?

2011-02-08T08:26:00.000-06:00

It’s Valentine season and not just for humans. This seems to be a big deal month for humans. They give each other candy (that's a treat for humans) and heart-shaped stuff. I also noticed the American Heart Association uses the month of February to promote healthy heart habits for humans.

Why you ask? Because despite what humans think, dogs know that the number one killer of humans is heart attacks/heart disease. How is it that dogs know more about the human heart than humans do? Hmmmm.

Which brings me around to my favorite topic: pets. Pets are so good for the human heart. We keep the heart loved and comforted. I’d like to think that a pet’s love (especially a dog’s) is all a heart needs but it’s just not enough. Hearts need proper food and exercise and it’s important that heart health goes both ways: humans need to take care of their pets’ hearts too.

Can you imagine a better time to show your dog and cat how much you really love them (and their heart) than a Valentine gift? Would you like a suggestion? A heartworm-free pet! Better yet, get your dog and/or cat examined for heartworms and keep them on monthly heartworm treatment. After that, add an ASPIRINPOD heart to their collar as a constant reminder of their love for you and the need for heart care for them.

What’s an Aspirinpod you ask? It’s a tiny pod that holds an aspirin for humans and serves as a heartworm medicine reminder for pets. My pal Piper is modeling one of these lovely gifts below. Want to order one for your human and pet Valentines? Click on the link below to place an order for you and your pals.

http://www.aspirinpod.com/cart.html.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Valentines is great for humans: they give extra attention to one another, lots of chocolate treats and bubbly stuff called champagne. My advice, make this holiday about loving your humans and pets EVERY day with a check-up and an ASPIRINPOD. … Because love isn’t just for holidays.

Okay, the question of the day is from Tippy who asked: Dear Parker, I’m happy. When I’m happy, I vigorously wag my tail. When humans are happy, they show their teeth in a weird way. I believe they call it smiling. When a dog shows its teeth, we’re usually pissed off at something or someone so how does a human know we’re happy by our wagging tail?

Dear Tippy:

Great question Tippy and I relish (word of the day) answering it. Some humans show happiness by laughing and others by crying. You may have heard your humans say, “My friend was crying tears of joy.” My point? Humans understand there are all sorts of ways to show happiness – even if you’re a dog. ...So wag away.

THE GRINCH THAT STOLE BUSINESS

2011-01-31T08:19:00.000-06:00

It takes a special kind of human to hit an animal. My foster mom (Jet) says there’s a special place in hell for these humans. I gather from Jet’s tone that hell is a very, very crummy place.

One of the other ways humans hurt creatures, especially a lot of dogs, is dumping them because they can no longer afford to keep them. Nationwide, 84 percent of shelters and rescue groups last year reported increased numbers of family pets being given up or just abandoned. Some shelters have seen an increase of 9% to more than 20% of abandoned family pets in their area. What would possess a human to leave a family member behind? Would you leave your son behind or abandon your daughter? We are ‘family’ members just like your kids.

Humans say they can’t afford to keep us and blame the situation on the economy. The economy doesn’t dump dogs; people do.

I asked Jet about the economy issue. She said that small businesses (about 29.6 million of them) are the backbone of America’s revenue-generating, job-stimulating economy. The problem, she noted, is that it is tough for small firms to get capital or grow in such an un-stabile environment.

“What is this Grinch that stole business,” I ask?

It appears that some humans blame it on politicians and government regulations. I blame it on the humans that vote for leaders and then don’t hold them accountable for making better decisions that help our country’s businesses and economy. (Okay, I might have gotten this last comment from Jet.)

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dumping a dog is not the fault of a bad economy anymore than a lousy economy is the fault of a lousy law or regulation. It’s about humans that don’t have the backbone (and I know bones) to do the right thing. Next time you hear someone say they may need to give up their dog or abandon their cat because of the economy, remind them a bad economy is an excuse but it takes a bad human to dump an animal. Consider living leaner. You’ll save money to survive in tough times and save your ‘family’ pet too.

Okay, the question of the day is from Jastus who asked: Dear Parker, I am looking for happy stories to share with humans that would motivate them to adopt a dog that needs a home.

Dear Jastus:

I’ve got just what you need. There is a wonderful rescue program called Last Chance Highway. Send every human you know to the link below to view Last Chance Highway’s top 10 rescue stories. It will surely twist their heart into action – directly to a local rescue shelter.

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/last-chance-highway/home-adoption-stories/home-adoption-stories.html

THE WILL OR THE WAVE

2011-01-23T12:06:00.000-06:00

You may recall the story about David versus Goliath. Jet, my foster mom, has a preacher guy called Charles Swindoll (I call him Pastor Yoda) because he tells stories that make him sound wise. Pastor Yoda talked about this little guy called David who fought a giant Philistine named Goliath. Representing Israel and King Saul’s army, David was a normal man and fought with stones and a slingshot whereas Goliath was over nine feet tall and had all sorts of armor and weapons. The odds were in Goliath’s favor - tenfold. David won.

I was reminded of this story when I heard about a little Yorkshire Terrier-Poodle mix named Bentley who fell off his master’s sailboat. Despite all odds, the dog, without the benefit of any life raft, managed to dog paddle hard enough against the current and long enough over the waves to stay alive until his humans could rescue him. The odds were in the wave’s favor - tenfold. The dog won.

If I were a betting dog, I’d be broke right now. There is no way I would have put money down on David or Bentley. So how is it that all the odds can be against these guys and they still win? I thought about all the weeks I was living on the streets after being abandoned by my owners. I had no real survival skills, no shelter; no source of food or water and often fought off bigger dogs while dodging coyotes. I won. That’s when I realized a face off between life’s big waves and a warrior’s great will often yields astonishing results.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… No matter the hardship, whether dog or human, you’d be surprised what can be done when the will is bigger than the wave. Next time you face a challenge, imagine it as a wave and dog paddle with all your might. Despite the odds, the will can win over the wave.

Okay, the question of the day is from Piper who asked: Dear Parker, I hate to sound like a diva but I feel so much more special when I get to wear my coat. It makes me feel like a princess. See photo. I know you’re friend Nokona likes to say, “It’s good to be me” but every time I put the coat on I like to say, “It’s good to know me” because I just look so stunning when I wear it. Is this what humans call vanity?

Dear Piper:

Yes.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE KNOWS ‘SPECIAL’

2011-01-17T07:08:00.000-06:00

If you can remember Shirley Temple, you’re old. As I’ve learned though, good things are timeless, even to a dog, so it seemed this little movie maven made for a great blog topic today. One of the best Shirley Temple dialogues is a movie scene where she’s talking about her duck.

“My duck is special,” Temple says to a lady.

The lady skeptically asks, “Why?”

Shirley says, “Because my duck can lay an egg.”

The lady responds a little smugly, “What’s so wonderful about that?”

Without a pause, Shirley Temple emphatically notes, “Well, can you lay an egg?”

Sometimes it seems that humans are so obsessed with the special things they manufacture (sci-fi movie sets, interactive videos) that they fail to see what is special about what God has manufactured. Is a 3-D movie more special than a duck that can lay an egg? Is a talking robot more special than a dog that knows when its master is about to have an epileptic attack? Is the discovery of prehistoric bones more special than the creation of these incredible beasts? Is a humans’ ability to change clothes to adapt to their environment more special than a gecko’s ability to change colors to match its surroundings?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Humans can do amazing things. Disneyland is a perfect example of what special experiences can be fabricated by the human imagination. Even a dog realizes this is so. However, if you’re really looking for ‘special’ then look no further than the creatures around you. Humans cannot possibly manufacturer anything as special as nature. So take time out on the side effects of special effects and get back to what is really special in life.

Okay, the question of the day is from Tippy who asked: Dear Parker, what does embarrassed mean? My dad (Ted) turned as red as a macaque. (See photo in case you don't know what a macaque looks like.) My poodle friend says Ted's redness is caused by being embarrassed.

Dear Tippy:

I'd say your poodle pal is correct. Ted turned red because he was embarrassed. Essentially, humans are embarrassed when another human says something that other humans are thinking but would never say out loud.

WHAT IS HATE?

2011-01-10T08:09:00.000-06:00

I was scouting out new smells in the backyard over the weekend when suddenly I heard a real ruckus in the house. It’s funny that humans think barking dogs are so loud and disruptive because, in general, we make a lot less noise than humans.

When I ran in the house to determine what was going on, the news was blaring on the TV (more noise) about one human using a gun to shoot a lot of other humans in a place called Arizona. I know about guns because Jet (my foster mom) and I talked about them. She has rules about guns like, “Keep the safety on until you are ready to use the gun”; “If you intend to shoot an animal, it better be for food or the animal should be allowed to shoot back".

From what I understood, some whacked yahoo just walked up to some people and a Congresswoman (this is a human that lives in one place but works in a giant white house in a village called D.C.) and started shooting. When I asked Jet why he shot the people, she just said because he hated what they stood for; hated what they represent.

What is hate?

Jet said ‘hate’ was like a unique poison that gets inside of humans sometimes. Once inside, the poison sort of kills the loving and kindness parts of the human, leaving angry cells that attack everything they see and hear. One time, my beagle friend Louie got in to a poison called Anti-freeze and nearly died. It sounds like the poison called ‘hate’ is much more deadly.

It’s funny. Dogs don’t hate. Dogs don’t know hate. They may attack another dog or human but it is out of fear, not hate. Perhaps humans are not so different and they shoot each other because of fear that is so intense that it fuels hate cells that attack the goodness inside them. Sort of sounds like a kind of cancer. Hmmm, I wondered if their is an antidote.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Hate seems to be a poison that humans ingest not acquire. They get it through their ears when they hear certain types of sick humans; through their eyes when they watch certain types of sick humans. My lesson? Humans need to be more selective about who they hang out with or risk getting hate poison.

Okay, the question of the day is from Spitz who asked: Dear Parker, I love the winter weather. I’m a Husky breed and have thick fur made for the cold so it makes me happy when my humans let me play outside during this time of year. The problem? My best friend Allie lives next door and he is freezing most days. He’s a little fox terrier and easily gets too cold. How long should a dog like Allie stay outside in winter? We need to tell his humans.

Dear SPITZ:

How thoughtful of you to look out for your friend Allie. Some dogs like you, have fur designed for the cold; many do not. Dogs left outside in cold weather should have:

• Shelter

It should have a floor and a design that minimizes any draft. Insulated shelters are a must and I also recommend a padded blanket of some type on the floor of the shelter or a heated hot water bottle inside a blanket on the floor.

• Water

Make sure the water source is some place where it will not freeze.

Some dogs should not be left outside in really cold weather so make sure your human friends talk to a veterinarian to be sure they are doing the right thing to protect their dogs in winter.

… And thank you for being such a good friend to Allie.

LANDING ON YOUR FEET

2011-01-03T08:53:00.000-06:00

I’m watching a National Geographic’ special on cats: lions and house cats. Normally I wouldn’t bother. I’m a dog and I find the aloof behavior of most cats rather annoying. Recently I helped Jet rescue a cat that turned out to be a real whack job that didn’t do anything to endear me to feline types. I named the rescued cat Frat because his crazy head hair made him look like a grumpy college fraternity guy that just rolled out of bed after an all night study session with a keg. He’s camera shy so I made a rough sketch of the nut-case cat (below).

Now, back to the TV show. This particular Nat Geo segment was showing the development of a cat fetus during every stage of the womb. The tiny fetuses looked like gummy worms. Although playing with cats is not something I have any interest in doing, I did found their development in the womb simply fascinating and their unique capabilities interesting. For example, a cat's acute auditory capabilities enable them to hear a tiny mouse up to 30’ away. Cats know if a container does not touch their facial whiskers that they are likely to be able to fit inside it; they can withstand an ugly fall and always land on their feet.

Jet, my foster mom, says more humans could use these ‘land on your feet’ skills. I agree. I don’t want to sound like a know-it-all but it seems most humans lack the fundamentals to recover from life’s hard falls. This seems to apply to humans trying to survive the wilderness and the streets.

Test your survival capabilities in the wilderness:

1. Can you build a fire?

2. Can you build a shelter

3. Can you effectively signal for help?

4. Can you find/secure food and water?

5. Do you know fundamental first aid skills?

I’ll bet most of my human readers would not survive five days in the wilderness. Would you?

Test your survival capabilities on the streets (of business and life):

• Could you reduce your business overhead 30% if you had to?

• Do you have at least 6 months of capital/savings to support yourself and

your company during times of economic loss?

• If you’re job looking (or trying to avoid losing your job) are you

demonstrating the skills employers want but seldom see these days? Specifically,

Innovation, Adaptability and Resourcefulness (doing more with less; creative problem

solving)

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs, because of humans, survive on the streets every day. It’s hard and awful but we do it. Perhaps humans need to do the same for one week out of every year. This would remind humans of two things: one, their survival skills are not up to par which is why they often don’t land on their feet in tough times and two, abandoning an animal to live on the streets is wrong.

Okay, the question of the day is from Jake who asked: Dear Parker, “What is God?”

Dear Jake:

God is part Isaac Newton – an inventor – and part Coco Chanel – a designer. Only everything God makes is perfect.

NEW YEAR'S DOGSOLUTION

2010-12-30T18:09:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year when humans make New Year's resolutions. It only seems fair that

my canine kind should able to make resolutions too. Before embarking on this endeavor, it seemed prudent (50 cent word of the day) to determine if a 'resolution' is a desirable pursuit for a dog.

What is a ‘resolution’? It’s a noun. If you’re a human, you probably think this is a good because nouns are ‘things’ and humans like to buy and have ‘things’. Dogs however like verbs because they generally indicate action! Action equates to fun.

But I digress.

Resolution (a noun) is about being determined or resolute about a course of action that has been decided on. On the other hand, it does not mean a human that makes a resolution intends to take the action to do what they have determined is what needs to be done. Maybe this is why even though 40%-plus humans make a New Year’s resolution to lose weight, eat healthier or take more time off with their kids (or their dog), they end up not keeping their commitment. A resolution is about saying what you are determined to do (noun) rather than doing it (action).

In circumspect, a ‘resolution’ seems well-suited to humans rather than dogs. As most dogs know, humans are more bark than bite or more talk than walk.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Humans should consider New Year's Dogsolutions instead of resolutions. Dogsolutions (says me) are ACTIONS you take at the start of a new year to get what you want by the end of that year. Humans would actually achieve something this way (a novel idea) and besides, 'dogsolutions' is a word than resolutions.

Okay, the question of the day is from Royal who asked: Dear Parker, I’m a special dog with a unique pedigree (thus the name ‘royal’). What can I do for New Years that is in keeping with my upper class style rather than the typical, tawdry slumming for party leftovers like other dogs?

Dear Royal:

First of all, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to invite you to a party but should someone be kind enough to do so, you could always spend the evening entertaining yourself in front of a mirror.

THE INSIDE STORY

2010-12-27T11:20:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite forms of entertainment is what I call ‘Search’. Jet (my foster mom) places a treat or a few pieces of food inside a plastic Easter egg she then seals it inside a baggie, then wraps it inside a recycled newspaper bag and places it in a recycled food box. (… Like an empty toothpaste box.) She uses different containers for this game multiple Tupperware containers she buys at the $1 Store but essentially I have to search through one container (obstacle) to get to the next and so on. The point is that the challenge of searching through each layer is to get to the prize inside. It's great fun and the harder the search, the greater the entertainment and reward at the end.

Jet says humans do something similar. Cops peel back the layers of evidence to find the bad guy inside. Hmmm. I asked if there were more enjoyable ways that humans participated in playing ‘Search’ and she shared some great stories with me. She said there is a boxed snack called Cracker Jacks with a prize inside and a candy called Tootsie Pops with a gooey chocolate center inside. I’d like to try both.

I watched some mini humans search ‘nesting’ dolls one time. At the end of the search was an itsy bitsy, nesting doll.

"What was the point of this type of search," I asked Jet.

Jet asked me, “Why do some dogs search for rabbits?” Well, I pointed out that some dogs, like me, search for rabbits because we are hunters and they are rodent we are to kill and/or eat; others like my dog pal Nokona just search them out because they enjoy chasing them into a hole or under a fence. Jet pointed out that sometimes humans and dogs simply find the search itself is a prize or reward. This is one reason why humans enjoy opening nesting dolls.

If this is true, it seems more humans would be like dogs and enjoy searching for new jobs, a new date, a new client, a new friend, a new church, a new dog, a new home or apartment, a new car… What I find however is that most humans seemed annoyed by these searches.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Humans should be like dogs and enjoy the chase of something as much as they like discovering what’s inside what they chase. Humans: if you don’t find the search for something any fun, maybe you’re looking for the wrong thing or… maybe you’ve forgotten the thrill of the chase itself.

Okay, the question of the day is from Toodles who asked: Dear Parker, when does a dog stop growing? I’m almost 5 months old and dinky. I hope to get bigger so I’m not always the runt running around the yard with the other dogs.

Dear Toodles:

What an interesting question. You didn’t indicate your breed so I’m not sure how big you will get but I can tell you that smaller dogs reach full growth between 9 to 18 months. This includes growth up and out. Larger breed dogs generally take up to two years for full growth but monster breeds like Mastiffs may keep growing up to their third year. Yikes! Make sure you are getting the proper nutritional food for your age – every year and you will grow to bigger like your canine pals and remain healthy too.

Don’t forget to keep growing INSIDE too. Knowledge is like nutrition for the brain. I notice that humans tend to grow physically for a long time but then fail to keep growing inside. Dogs are no different and should keep learning throughout their lives to ensure their brain is bright and their relationships and life are exciting.

TWELVE DOG DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

2010-12-22T14:12:00.000-06:00

Jet, my foster mom, says, “Declare what you desire.” Her view is that you don’t get what you don’t ask for so make sure you state your wishes. I decided Christmas was the perfect time to test her theory so I wrote my version of the Twelve Days of Christmas to communicate all I want.

Start the TUNE and sing along…

On the first day of Christmas, my master gave to me: a fluffy king-sized bed.

On the second day of Christmas, my master gave to me: my own entourage

On the third day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 3 fire hydrants

On the fourth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 4 rescued buddies…

On the fifth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 5 good nights sleep

On the sixth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 6 chewy biscuits

On the seventh day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 7 out-of-jail cards

On the eighth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 8 sweaters modeling

On the ninth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 9 dog pals parading

On the tenth day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 10 toys for playing

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my master gave to me: 11 milk bones for burying

On the twelve day of Christmas, my master gave to me: ornaments hanging

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If your master isn’t quite sure what to give you on Christmas, simply sing the "Twelve Dog Days of Christmas" to them with your own ideas. One extra thing, don’t forget the real meaning of Christmas is the ultimate gift God gave to humans – Jesus – and the ultimate gift God gave to dogs – humans.

Okay, the question of the day is from Krump who asked: Dear Parker, my name is Krump and I’m in a funk. I heard Jet, your foster mom, tried to rescue an abandoned dog trapped in the middle of a highway and a trucker clipped him and no one stopped to help her get him off the road. What happened to the kind spirit of Christmas?

Dear Krump:

I've got the rest of the story and it's good news. Just as Jet was about to get to the dog, a car clipped against his hip and he freaked out and fell to the ground. No one stopped to help but Jet dragged him off the road and eventually the Christmas spirit came alive in the hearts of a lady named Temple Morrow and two kind men who came to help. They got the traffic away from Jet and the dog and Temple took the dog home for healing and to give him a new home. I'll provide a photo for our readers soon but be at peace this Christmas story had a happy ending.

RESISTING THE GREATEST REWARDS

2010-12-20T14:41:00.000-06:00

Want to train a dog? - Reward us. The key is consistency in your message and determining the right reward. I’m a rat terrier and we are ‘rewarded’ by pleasing our beloved master. Other dogs are a lot like men and the best motivator is through their stomach. Offer them food or treats and they will do whatever you ask.

There are exceptions to this rule. Certain breeds of dogs (and humans) are more stubborn or like Piper (a fox terrier mix). They are often smart, to the point of being clever but they are like willful three year olds who may know what to do but CHOOSE whether or not to obey depending on their mood.

Piper is a very bright dog. She knows our walking rules. Jet (our foster mom) doesn’t have many rules but she is strict about those that exist. Specifically: stay on the leash unless we are in an open field. Commands like ‘stay’ mean stop immediately and do not move until you get the command to do so. If you break the rules, you lose a privilege for a while. It’s sort of like a time out for humans. There is one rule that Piper will mind – IF she wants to but she will ignore the same rule if it suits her. She ‘stays’ when she feels like it but if she wants to run or chase a rabbit and not stop when commanded to then she races on. A command to stay has nothing to do with being near traffic or roads; it is about adhering to rules set up to protect us. No matter how many times Piper is told, she will ignore the “stay” rule sometimes and lose the privilege of our field walks off leash. Why repeat the same mistake over and over?

TO PONDER:

• Is it because the punishment isn’t strict enough?

• Is it because the reward for adhering to the rule isn’t good enough?

• Is it because the price paid for disobeying the rule is so quickly overcome?

• Is it because the taste of what is loved so much is so much better than the taste of

the punishment that comes from misbehaving?

• Why is getting our way more important than the consequences of doing the right

thing? What does it take to get a willful dog (or human) to do the right thing when

they don’t want to do it?

(Such deep questions... I was probably a Zen philosopher in another life.)

Humans struggle the same way with addictions. I’ve witnessed some of the brightest and most successful humans lose almost everything they have (or lose it all) because there is just one thing in their life they know they shouldn’t do but do it anyway. Maybe it is spending money in a poor fashion; perhaps it is excessive gambling. Regardless, they lose so much when they insist on pursuing 'it' to excess.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Maybe the “Pipers” of the world need to look at the situation differently as defined by the author of “The Easy Way to Quit Smoking”. The author reminds us that we are not giving in to something when we buckle under to an obsession or constantly breaking a good rule; instead, we are giving up the ultimate something: our liberty, our freedom to really choose what is best for us. – I’m paraphrasing of course but my advice is to consider this perspective before paying the price of resisting the rewards best for us before the rewards stop being offered.

Okay, the question of the day is from Charlie who asked: Hey Parker, I am a new reader of your column. I’ve got my humans reading it too. My question is what can my parents use to measure me properly for a new winter coat?

Dear Charlie:

Try this site for your humans Charlie. It shows a diagram with the proper way to measure a dog for collars and coats.

http://paradiseamerica.hypermart.net/efy/dogmeasure.html

MORPH MASTERS

2010-12-16T13:41:00.000-06:00

Although I write my blog three times a week, I still have a lot of time to watch humans. I’m a dog. What else am I going to do? You can only chase tail and toys so many times in a day.

It’s interesting how humans can morph into something new or different… like a butterfly.

Add caption

There is this exotic looking human on a TV show called: The Good Wife. Her name is Kalinda. (I’d like to see her eyes on a dog or a cat. I just know they would look so cool.)

On Tuesday night's show, Kalinda said, “I didn’t like who I was so I changed me.”

Humans don’t like their hair so they cut it and color it. They don’t like their job so they get a new one. They don’t like their job so they get a new one. Jet (my foster mom) says that America is the ultimate melting pot of morph masters – humans changing into something new. Jet says it’s more amazing than a butterfly morphing out of a caterpillar to see humans make equally dramatic changes. Some of her favorites: a depression-era crop picker who morphed into a college teacher (her mom), a guy living on the street who became a successful stockbroker. (See Pursuit of Happyness).

When humans make such incredible changes in their life, are they running to something or running away from something? Jet says it doesn't matter what motivates them, only that they take action and change.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If butterflies can morph, humans can too so if you don’t like your life, change it.

Okay, the question of the day is from Cleveland asked: Dear Parker, I want to know: is there anything better in life than a friend?”

Dear Cleveland:

Not much.

…And I think the otters in the video below would agree with me.

otter friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno

MORPHA MASTERS

2010-12-15T09:33:00.000-06:00

Although I write my blog three times a week, I still have a lot of time to watch humans. I’m a dog. What else am I going to do? You can only chase tail and toys so many times a day.

It’s interesting how humans can morph into something new or different… like a butterfly

There is this exotic looking human on The Good Wife named, Kalinda. (I’d like to see her eyes on a dog or a cat. I just know they would look so cool.)

Last night, Kalinda said, “I didn’t like who I was so I changed me.”

Humans don’t like their hair so they cut it and color it. They don’t like their job so they get a new one. They don’t like their life so they move and start over. Jet says that America is the ultimate melting pot of morph masters – humans changing into something new. Jet says it’s more amazing than a butterfly morphing out of a caterpillar to see humans make equally dramatic changes. Some of her favorites: a depression-era crop picker who morphed into a college teacher (her mom), a guy living on the street who became a successful stockbroker (see Pursuit of Happyness).

When humans make such incredible changes in their life, are they running to something or running away from something? Jet says it doesn't matter if they change because they are unhappy or because they see something that will make them happier. The important thing is that they know things could be better and they go for it.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If butterflies can morph, humans can too so if you don’t like your life, change it.

Okay, the question of the day is from Cleveland asked: Dear Parker, I want to know: is there anything better in life than a friend?”

Dear Cleveland:

Not much.

…And I think the otters in the video below would agree with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno

I NEED GLASSES

2010-12-13T07:33:00.000-06:00

Isn’t it funny how different generations see things? I’m still rather young, even in dog years but already I find puppies and younger dogs like Nokona see things I no longer see. Let me give you three examples.

We took Nokona for a long walk last week and he nearly jumped out of his fur with excitement. I was perplexed. We walk the same neighborhood every day and night. He ran to Dixie’s house, looked up and said, “The sky is raining stars!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that all he was seeing was his first Christmas lights.

Around the block we go and Nokona acts like a human when they hit the jackpot at a casino. “Look! Look!”, he says. “It’s a winter doghouse with nightlights so the doggie inside won’t get scared.”

Again, I couldn’t tell him it was simply a holiday igloo. Besides, he looked so doggone (so to speak) cute in the darn thing.

On the final lap of our walk, Nokona energized once more when he discovers what he refers to as a ‘winter scarecrow’ when in fact he had just seen his first snowman.

What happened to my eyesight? Nokona and I are looking at the same thing but we see two completely different objects each time. I asked Jet (my foster mom) if I need glasses and if so, do they make them for dogs?

Jet says that as dogs and humans age their eyesight often gets weaker. Dogs often get cataracts (I was wondering why my pal Spot has milky blue eyes and runs into stuff sometimes) and humans get far or nearsighted and start wearing glasses to see better. I understand this but I’m not seeing poorly compared to Nokona, I’m seeing differently.

According to Jet, I don’t need an eye doctor to help me with this but instead I need to view the world through my imagination rather than just through the eyes connected to my brain. She said the imagination gives us very special sight. Jet also said humans often need to do the same.

My pals with imagination vision seem to have more fun; humans with imagination vision seem to have more everything.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… I think humans and dogs are not so different in regards of what we see as we get older but we deal with it differently. Humans get glasses; dogs (at least the wise ones like me) reconnect with their puppy view. My advice for humans is to get a puppy or some other young critter and you’ll see things in a much more pleasant, inventive fashion. If you can’t get a young creature to help you discover your imagination sight, hang out with kids more. Do it now because a day without imagination vision is like a lifetime without wonder.

Okay, the question of the day is from Zoey who asked: My humans go to the same place on Sunday as your humans where they listen to that guy you call Pastor Yoda. Sunday is a day off so why wouldn’t they rather stay at home with me?

Dear Zoey:

Humans leak. Sometimes you’ll see them leak from their eyes. They call this crying. Other times (off and on about every day), they leak… spiritual fortitude. The Sunday visits to Pastor Yoda (as I like to call Pastor Charles Swindoll) works like a gas station because it’s where humans get fueled up with something called faith. I’m not sure how it works but Jet always seems to feel better when she comes home on Sundays.

A DOG'S STORE FOR HUMANS

2010-12-10T06:20:00.000-06:00

Humans are always losing things. They lose track of time, they lose their sense of humor… they lose their dreams. I overheard one human say they lost their kid. Geez. It’s bad enough losing a dog but losing a kid!

When I commented to Jet about humans losing their kid she said it was a figure of speech. (The English language is so complicated.)

Jet is my foster mom. She said humans are born with a kid inside of them but a trickster divined out of worry, stress and hardship steals our kid away and most humans never find their ‘inside’ kid again.

Sounds like a sci-fi movie.

I asked Jet about another thing humans lose: dreams.

“What’s a dream?”, I wanted to know.

She defined it as: The fierce fire that burns inside the spirit of all humans to make them feel invincible enough to fulfill a spectacular purpose designed just for them. She added that this ‘fire’ keeps you up at night, energizes you when you’re so tired you’re hair hurts, springs eternal and fuels hope when all is lost.

Hmmm. Makes you wonder if a dream a burden or a blessing?

But I digress.

The point of reminding all my human readers about how many things they’ve lost is to announce a solution. I will open a store where humans can ‘buy back what they’ve lost’. (Low interest payment plans are available.)

Imagine, any human can walk in to this store and find their inner kid, their lost dreams, and their sense of humor. They can even find all the lost time they need to do the things that are really important: a prayer for someone in need, a hug for someone lonely, a day in the park with the dog they love.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Jet says humans can almost achieve anything with a big enough dream, the imagination of a kid, a sense of humor and time. – The things they always seem to lose. So humans, go find what you’ve lost and see what wonders fill your life.

Okay, the question of the day is from Polly who asked: Why do you have to buy the stuff at a human gift shop? Gifts are what you give to people so shouldn’t a gift shop be a place to leave a gift or pick up a gift rather than buy a gift?

Dear Polly:

Humans are strange sometimes. They often tend to do things in a very backward manner. It’s confounding. (Look it up.) One of the most perplexing backward things they do is spend money they ‘think’ they will have but in reality they don’t have it. - Backwards. I think I overheard Jet call these humans… Deficit Dummies.

WALLS...

2010-12-08T09:59:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are new to my world, you may not be aware of my history before becoming a famous blogamist (dog columnist-blogger). I was abandoned by my previous owners and left on the streets many months before being picked up by the pound. Thinking I was lucky, I settled in to the place. All I could think was I had the safety of four walls around me again and two regular meals a day. Little did I know that this place was a short-term rest stop for death row.

Word got out that I was really sweet, well trained and smart and Jet (my foster mom) rescued me the day before I was to be euthanized. Again, I’m thinking I hit the mother load because not only did I have the security of walls around me but this time the front wall wasn’t a cage door, the place smelled better and I had lots of spots where I could run and adventure. I even enjoyed the four walls of a doctor’s office that gave me secret sauce and other special ingredients to get rid of my mange. My skin stopped hurting and my fur returned. Walls… what a blessing.

I listen to humans who don’t seem to realize how lucky they are to have these walls that they often call ‘home’. I think its because they are obsessed with the wrong type of walls. Humans are hung up on the walls around their heart, the walls at work, the walls between them and other humans.

There’s NOTHING better than a dog (or just about any critter) to, as former President Reagan would say, “G- Bring down that wall.” Animals have a knack for melting the hard minds and hearts that build walls inside humans so they can learn to really enjoy the walls outside (homes) themselves.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Next time you think of your home, remember you are so blessed to have the safety and comfort of these walls around you. Remember too that walls are designed to protect us on the outside not block what belongs in our world on the inside.

Okay, the question of the day is from ChooChoo who asked: My ‘choo choo’ has done too much ‘chewing’ and I feel like my caboose is chug-chugging too slow now. What’s wrong with me?

Dear ChooChoo:

Your excessive taste (so to speak) for figures of speech to actually ‘talk’ makes responding a bit of a challenge. If I’ve translated your question correctly, you’ve been overeating and your backend feels like it is weighing you down when you walk.

HUMANS! Here is a cool tool to determine if your beloved companion is overweight (as most are). It’s an automated pet weight translator provided by the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention. Check it out ChooChoo (with your humans) and get the chug out of your caboose.

http://www.petobesityprevention.com/pet-weight-translator/

GET UP! GET GOING!

2010-12-06T07:25:00.000-06:00

Sometimes Jet plays CDs made by her pastor. She calls him… Pastor Swindoll. Apparently, a pastor is something like a Yoda that brings in light to a human’s dark side. I love Star Wars’ so this guy must be awesome.

Anyway, I was listening to Pastor Yoda (as I fondly call him). He told the story of a mother giraffe that gave birth to a baby. BAM! The little guy comes out and lands right on his head and front feet. Exhausted, he wants to rest but his mom slugs him one to get him up. He responds some but decides resting is easier and continues to lay there. BAM! She nails him again. I was thinking of calling the ASPCA or animal rescue but it turns out she does this on purpose.

Huh?

The mother giraffe is loving but forceful and makes the baby get up as fast as possible – within minutes of birth. Why? The baby must join the herd and move on before predators (that’s the bad guys) realize a vulnerable new kid is around and easy to capture and eat. I’m confused. Why would Pastor Yoda tell such a story?

Jet, my foster mom, says God does the same thing to people sometimes. God nudges us up. Humans sometimes flounder in one place because of depression, an accident, a tough surgery, a loss, joblessness, discouragement from an event. If we stay there too long, sometimes the nudge turns in to a kick in the tush. BAM!

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Laying around too long (for animals or humans) is dangerous. Just like giraffes can get attacked by killer animals, humans can be killed by ennui. (Look it up.) Too much immobility does more than stall your day. It kills dreams and futures. So, get up and get going!

Okay, the question of the day is from Trigger who asked: No, I’m not a horse just because my name is Trigger so please no jokes. My question Parker is, “How can I help my human parents see things from my perspective?” Sometimes they make it hard to reach stuff and forget how low to the ground I sit.

Dear Trigger:

I’ve got just the solution: Pet’s Eye View. It’s a new gadget humans buy. It’s a camera that attaches to your collar so they can see things from your perspective. (Of course, they are also seeing when you get in to ‘stuff’ you are NOT supposed to get in to so be careful.) See the link below for more info.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/pets/afbc/

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER?

2010-12-01T15:54:00.000-06:00

One thing I love about hanging around with Nokona (he’s just a year old) is that he provides ongoing amusement for me. Although I’m only about three years old myself (that’s a lot of time in dog years), Nokona’s has a more youthful perspective that keeps life interesting for all of us.

For example, in October, we went out for our evening walks and Nokona saw his first Jack-O-Lanterns lit-up on the doorsteps of a few homes. He nearly jumped out of his skin from fright. (- Made me think of the hairless cats I’ve seen.)

I busted out laughing at Nokona but Jet (my foster mom) simply (and lovingly) picked him up and took him to one of the pumpkins. She touched the pumpkin and let him sniff it. After that he realized it was just ‘new’ to him but harmless. In fact, he realized, it was FOOD.

Just last week we were walking in another neighborhood and Nokona went bonkers when we went by a yard that featured a giant inflatable snowman swaying in the wind. He ran to Jet for safety. Me? LOL.

Jet picked him up and took him to the snowman. She touched it and let him smell it. He touched it with his nose and walked all around it. After that, it was no big deal because he understood that just because it was something foreign to him, it didn’t make it dangerous to him.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… It seems the knowledge of what an object really is virtually eliminated the fear of what Nokona thought it could do to him. I recall being scared of scarecrows at Thanksgiving in much the same way yet after I realized it was just straw on a stick, it wasn’t scary anymore. I suspect this is probably true for humans too. Next time my dog pals (or human friends) are afraid of something (failing at a new job, fitting in with a group, reaching a goal, a medical diagnosis) I’m going to remind them that knowledge (about that something) is like a sword that will slay their fear of it.

Okay, the question of the day is from Bhuda who asked: It’s time for traveling to see my parents' family. They live far away and we have to go on a sky bus (I think my mom calls it a plane) to get to their house. I’m getting a new travel crate this week. Any advice for my humans about what to buy?

Dear Bhuda:

I love to travel Bhuda and now canines have so many options about the crates they stay in while on board a plane. In the old days (WAY before I was born) a small version of the traditional hard case (see sample at link below) was all we had to choose from for airline travel. Today, you and your humans should consider the Sherpa, the I-Go or even the new Jet Set options. They are much lighter weight (which your parents will love) and more comfortable for you.

Happy Travels!

Traditional hard case

http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?c=3307+12+16017&pcatid=16017

Jet Set Travel Carrier

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THE BEST HOUSEHOLD OBJECT

2010-11-29T08:21:00.000-06:00

My pal Fenini (he’s a hoity-toity French poodle with an Italian name). He says his favorite item in ‘his’ house is the giant mirror in the foyer. (- That’s a fancy French word for the entry of a home.) Where as most dogs favor a bed (any bed) as their favorite household item, Fenini loves one object: a mirror. Why you ask? The mirror is the one place Fenini can stare at himself all day. Geez.

Personally, I like Jet’s pillow. It smells like her perfume and even though I’m a dog and we generally prefer all types of smells, most canines are partial to anything that has a scent of Eau de Owner on it.

Fenini and I are arguing about our favorite household things when it dawned upon me: humans spend a lot of time (and money) on grooming themselves. Even my fancy friend dogs like Fenini only get groomed once a month and Rumple, my trashcan buddy (he loves dumpster diving) only gets a bath once a week. My editor and I found a fascinating chart that shows how much time humans apply to different things. (Go to: http://time-spent.findthebest.com/) Check it out.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs look at a day as time well spent if they eat, greet, sleep; play, poop. What else is more important? Instead of a dog (example, Fenini) becoming so human that mirrors become important, humans should become more dog-like and remember what really is important.

Okay, the question of the day is from Shivers who asked: I LOVE food. I especially love different types of human food. Can I ask my mom and dad to give me more samples of the food they eat?

Dear Shivers:
I realize you love food but all foods (and treats) should be ingested in moderation and some foods a dog should avoid. Cuddle up to your human and take the dog-food quiz (at the link below) to see how smart both of you are about what you should and should not eat. It’s a fun way to test your knowledge and will protect you too.

http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz19784416a7868.html

WHAT IS THANKSGIVING?

2010-11-22T07:31:00.000-06:00

This is Nokona’s first Thanksgiving. He was only a few months old last year so he doesn’t remember it much. A few days ago, the little guy asked me about the holiday so I decided to teach him what a dog should know about Thanksgiving. I think there are probably a few humans out there that need to be reminded about what this special season means too.

Let’s start with the beginning. Thanksgiving is not about Pilgrims or suddenly being kind to cats. (Jet, my foster mom, does say that being good to cats is a nice thing to do though.)

No, I think this holiday is about a time for Thanks and Giving. Let me give you some pointers (my personal checklist) to help you humans understand what canines are born knowing: the essentials in life are really the gifts of thanks and giving.

THANKS (for) GIVING

Being rescued from the pound Give another rescued dog (like

before being euthanized me) a home.

Two meals a day instead of Give funds to buy ‘space’ in

in; the safe house I rest in a local shelter for a dog/cat to

sleep in

The warm, cuddly bed I sleep Give funds to buy ‘space’ in

in; the safe house I rest in a local shelter for a dog/cat to

sleep in

The shiny fur that has replaced Give attention to a street dog

my old mange-covered body and wash/treat fur their fur

Playtime with my foster mom; Give your time. Put down the

the toys I get to chew on PDA, the iPod, turn off the TV &

play with your pet.

The grand love of my foster Give your support by fostering

mom who treats me like I’m a dog or cat in 2011

the best thing in her life

For:____________________ Give _____________________

So, here’s my lesson of the day… During this holiday, show your thanks by fulfilling all the assignments on your ‘giving’ list. These gestures will taste better than any Thanksgiving turkey or pumpkin pie.

Okay, the question of the day is from Derby who asked: Christmas is just around the corner. It’s time to start working on a list of gifts I want. Any ideas?

Dear Derby:

Personally, I think you should be more concerned about what to give to your humans and fellow family pets during the holiday but if you must focus on you, consider watching the new TV show “You’re Pet Wants this Too". It airs on the Animal Planet channel and features innovative gadgets and toys for pets.

FLUSHING: A DOG'S PERSPECTIVE

2010-11-19T11:01:00.000-06:00

If you’re an animal lover, you know that dogs have a funny fascination for toilets. I can’t really explain why but they are special to us. They have interesting smells and despite your disgust we even like to drink out of them. There’s even a company that makes dog toilet drinking bowls. (See photo below.)

When you put stuff in toilets, it disappears. This process is what humans refer to as ‘flushing’. (I know this for a fact because I dropped one of my toys in the toilet and hit the handle thing and – whoosh – my toy vanished.) You gotta appreciate a dog’s joy for simple distractions.

I was sharing flushing stories with Jet (my foster mom) and she said humans should remember how critical flushing is to their health.

Huh?

Jet used to teach practical wellness for executive workshops and kick-boxing classes. One of her goals was to get humans to drink more water to help ‘flush’ their body of toxins. (– And all this time I thought flushing was just a fun distraction for dogs.)

The way Jet explains it, “Our body is like a giant toilet.” Cool! As we ingest food our body produces waste. Water helps us dump the toxins and waste more quickly and efficiently. Since most humans are chronically dehydrated (beer does not count as water) then most people are like walking toilets that haven’t been flushed all day. (This is even gross to a dog.)

Personally, I will never view a toilet in the same way again. Jet also says that water is great for improving your brainpower. Why? The brain is made of about 85% water molecules. When we are dehydrated, our stress hormones go up, our mental performance goes down as much as 10%, we become tired, un-alert and irritable.

Geez, I just wanted to talk about how fun it is to flush a toilet.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… In a dog’s world, a toilet is just an interesting place to watch stuff disappear. In a human’s world, the toilet should be a regular reminder to drink more water so your body flushes as often as your toilet flushes.

Okay, the question of the day is from Shauncie who asked: My humans were all excited yesterday about getting a new cash cow. Does this cow make cash instead of milk?

Dear Shauncie:

I can’t tell if you’re young and naïve or simply a few fries short of a Happy Meal so I’ll keep my answer easy for you. The term ‘cash cow’ is what humans refer to as some type of business that creates a lot of money beyond their initial investment. What does a cow have to do with this? Read explanation below from: wise geek.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-cash-cow.htm

The classic example of a cash cow is a milk cow. Milk cows require a small capital outlay when they are acquired, and minimal mainten-ance costs afterwards. In return for their low maintenance costs, milk cows generate milk throughout their adult lives, along with calves. Since the 1600s, people were using “milch cow” to refer to a profitable venture; the modern term “cash cow” emerged around the 1970s.

WHEN THE CRAP HITS THE FAN

2010-11-17T17:41:00.000-06:00

Stuff happens. Sometimes that ‘stuff’ isn’t so good. If you’re anything like the little guy below, you may tend to cover your eyes and try to pretend you don’t notice the bad stuff or pretend the crud in life will some how be gone when you uncover your eyes.

That’s just not how it works.

Jet, my foster mom, says there is no rhyme or reason sometimes for the tough things that occur in a dog’s life. She says humans are not immune to challenges.

Jet’s full of insights so I asked her, “What’s a dog (or human) to do when the crap hits the fan?

First: don’t whine. (Geez, I’m a dog so this just doesn’t seem fair.)

Two: say a prayer. (I’m on it.)

Three: Think (but not too much). What can you do to overcome the problem? Who can you go to for guidance? What are your options?

Four: Learn. Make sure you get some worthwhile lesson out of the crummy situation so you don’t feel all the pain was completely without merit.

Five: Act. And as Benjamin Franklin used to say, “Don’t confuse motion with action.”

So, here’s my lesson of the day… You can’t close your eyes and wish a problem away. Hiding solves nothing (for dogs or humans) so get off the couch Potato Head, say a prayer, make a plan and get your mojo on.

Okay, the question of the day is from Spud who asked: One of my favorite toys is one of my parent’s pill bottles filled with a treat or a few bits of my food. – It takes forever for me to get in to the bottle but the reward is grand.

Dear Spud:

Tell your parents (from me): “Bad humans! Bad humans! Bad humans!” Never use human pill bottles as a toy. You never know when you or one of your canine pals will get hold of a pill bottle filled with medicine (something bad for us but good for humans). Want a cheap (but safe) treat toy? ...Go to the $1 store.

TUG OF WAR

2010-11-15T06:59:00.001-06:00

I’m watching Nokona and Piper play tug of war with a toy. What is it about dogs that they always want the possessions of others? These two knuckleheads (photo below) are the worst about it. Piper (the spotted one) doesn’t much like toys but she does like stealing the toys that Nokona is playing with because she knows it irritates him.

It seems humans are not much different sometimes. They play tug of war sans the toy. Instead of fighting over toys, they fight over issues, opinions or getting what they want. This seems especially true when it comes to politics.

What’s up with all this fighting? - Conservatives versus liberals, republicans versus democrats. Seriously, don’t the yahoos in D.C. all work for the same boss: Americans?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Tug of war is for kids who want to fight over toys not for humans that want to argue over issues. My advice to politicians (and humans):

1. Leave the tug-of-war rope at home.

2. Whatever it is your tugging back and forth about... Write a shared goal down on the

outside of a large coffee can so both sides can see it.

3. Place the can in the center of a table between you and the other guy your tugging

against.

4. Focus on the goal written on the can instead of each other.

5. Remember you are there to serve US not you.

6. Try a little compromise and get something achieved for your country.

Okay, the question of the day is from Mollie who asked: My mom watches a human show called Blue Bloods. Do these humans really have blue blood?

Dear Mollie:

I’m familiar with the show. My mom often watches it too because it’s on Friday nights when she’s says her brain is toast and she’s too tired to go out. The ‘blue’ referred to is not literally running through the veins of the humans but soaring in the spirit of the humans because they are police humans. It’s the blue spirit reflective of their blue uniform. - Strictly a figure-of-speech. God bless these men and women because they wear the blue (in their heart and on their sleeve) but when they get injured, they bleed red just like the rest of us. Next time you see a police officer, give them a good sloppy lick of thanks on the face.

SO CLOSE; SO FAR

2010-11-12T11:15:00.000-06:00

Ever pursue a goal with all your might? Did you ever get so close but still find it impossible to get your paws (sorry, hands) on the goal?

It kind of reminds me of my neighbor’s cat (Twinkles). He is a rescue from a farm so he's had more mice to eat than traditional cat food. As a result, any small, rodent-like critter (say… hamsters) is on Twinkle’s goal list of things to obtain. However, wanting his human’s pet hamsters doesn’t make it so. Dogs get this notion better than humans.

Dogs understand you may want something really bad and not necessarily get it. You may work real hard for that bone but it doesn't appear the next day. Dogs believe that you have to enjoy the chase for something (a rabbit, a squirrel for us; a dream, a client contract for humans). The chase has to be as much a source of joy so when you don’t get what you want, you don’t feel so disappointed that your life seems cheated.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Sometimes achieving the goal or bringing a dream to fruition is the end game but just as many times, you’ll get close to something you want really bad but never obtain it. Enjoy the chase more, give up the chase less and it will all work out for the best.

Okay, the question of the day is from Cheech and Chong who asked: Our humans named us Cheech and Chong. Why is it that every time we’re introduced to other humans, people snicker about our names?

Dear Cheech and Chong:

As soon as I stop laughing, I’ll respond to your inquiry.

A LITTLE KINDNESS

2010-11-08T08:36:00.000-06:00

There are a series of television commercials that give the viewer snapshot moments of one human doing something kind for another human. You may have seen them. In one ad, a lady stops a guy from stepping in front of a car, another man picks up an infant’s toy, one tall guy pulls something off a tall shelf for a short guy. You get the idea. Simple gestures of kindness.

The snapshot below is the same type of thing… A kid holding the water button down so his dog could get a drink of water. It cost the kid nothing but a little time just as the good deeds in the commercials cost the humans nothing but a little time. But the recipient, human or dog, will remember and appreciate the gesture forever. - That's a lot of impact for a moment of kindness. What other 'investment' of your time would have such a great ROI?

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Some of the sweetest moments in life, some of the most valuable gifts we give cost nothing but a little time and a little kindness. Try doing this every day and you’ll feel like the wealthiest human in the world within a week because your life will be rich with what matters.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Zipper who asked: What’s envy? My human mom said my human dad was ‘green with envy’ for his best friend’s new golf clubs.

Dear Zipper:

Dogs, much like early Native Americans, don’t understand envy (wanting what someone else has) because we are not greedy (wanting more than we need). You may have a bone and I might want a bone but I don’t hate you or envy you for having a bone. Native Americans have the same view because they don’t possess stuff. What they have is of and from the earth and not to be owned but applied, appreciated, and shared. So, I can give you a definition of envy but for the life of me, I can’t explain why humans engage in such a practice.

FUTURE THINK

2010-11-05T10:56:00.001-05:00

There’s a cool Pacific Life (insurance) commercial running on TV these days. You can see on YouTube.com. It’s called: Recordings.

The ad tells the story about how in 1968 humans finally got to hear the sounds of a special giant fish called a whale. I’m not sure why but maybe the whales were taking up too much space in the ocean because certain humans were annihilating the whales. There were fewer and fewer in the water. Then the first recordings of their soulful sing-songy sounds were broadcast. Boom! It was as if humans realized they were living beings for the first time and there was an international outcry to stop killing them before their existence in the future was nonexistent. Their population began to grow. Pacific Life says that the whale represents “what is possible when people stop and think about the future.”

Dogs don't think too much about the future. They tend to think about what’s in front of them. By thinking about what is in the present, we tend to give a human all we are and all we have whereas multi-tasking humans tend to give us their leftover selves.

Thinking about the future is something humans are supposed to be good at and yet I’m not so sure. Just like the Pacific Life commercial tells it, humans really didn’t think too much about annihilating the future of whales until the music of their language made their presence real to humans.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… It seems to me that humans, for all their intelligence, still have so much to learn. Dogs may not be so good about thinking about the future but we rock when it comes to living and contributing to the present. Humans on the other hand, divvy out parts of themselves to the present and almost nothing to the future except those issues that appear either jeopardized or in the spotlight. It seems humans should try being here now with us (dogs) and thinking about what their actions today will do to their tomorrow BEFORE their tomorrow is annihilated.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Gobbles who asked: My leg was amputated because of something called cancer. I get around okay but worry my kind won’t be attracted to me as much or that humans might not want to hang out with me anymore. Do you think this is true? Note: please don’t make fun of my name. My self-esteem is already low. I got the stink’in name because I was born on Thanksgiving.

Dear Gobbles:

I like your name. You shouldn’t worry about losing the love and companionship of humans and dogs just because you lost a leg. People love your heart (which still beats strongly in your chest) not your leg.

IS ONE MISTAKE YOUR FUTURE?

2010-11-03T06:43:00.000-05:00

There was a shyster in the news recently. He was a dog trader who was charging too much for half-breed rather than purebred dogs. (Personally, we’re all purebred’s to God but humans seem to think it is important to differentiate the two.)

They caught the guy and he did a little time. Now he’s out of the big house (dog house to me) and ready to go back to selling puppies. I asked Jet, “Should we trust him to do the right thing now? She didn’t answer for a REALLY long time. Then she said, “Is one mistake a pattern?”

I hate when humans answer a question with a question.

No. One mistake does not make a pattern so I guess Jet’s point is that the guy should get another chance to make a new (better) future. On the other hand, how many chances do you get before there is a pattern of mistakes? When is it time to cut loose from a chronic mistake type person, client, marriage, or job? Is it when the stress level in your life sits on ‘astronomical’ two months straight? Is it when you grow an ulcer? Is it when life looks better on the other side of anywhere else than where you are at the time? How long do you hang on (and at what cost)?

I’m a dog. I don’t have the answers to these questions. Funny thing is that most humans don’t know the answers to these questions.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Just because you don’t know the answers, don’t stop asking questions. Just because you make one mistake, you don’t have to make your life a mistake.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Dolly who asked: I just saw something very strange: a big reindeer giving birth to another reindeer.

Dear Dolly:

You seem real sweet which is probably a good thing because I’m not sure you’re real bright. You’ve witnessed the birth of an elk. I’d give this a “10” on the ‘wow’ factor.

ELEPHANTS VS DONKEYS?

2010-10-31T08:58:00.000-05:00

My friend Sebastian was visiting the other day. We were going crazy around the house. We chased each other, charged in to each other, pushed each other over, and grabbed each other’s collars. I was afraid we would get in trouble but Jet says this is ‘good fighting’.

Huh?

Jet (my foster mom) says this type of ‘fighting’ is playful and therefore it’s just fine. She said humans have all sorts of good fighting called ‘sports’. She defined these sports as a type of human playing but with greater rewards at the end like a big prize. (I’m not sure what she meant. Dogs are rewarded after good fighting with a big prize of happiness.)

This needed more exploring if I was going to understand good fighting so she gave me a few examples:

Judo: meaning “gentle way”. Hmmm. A Japanese martial arts form.

Boxing: combat sport where two people fight using their fists inside a ring

Wrestling: two people fighting with strategic holds of their arms and legs

Jet says even politics is a form of good fighting. I checked out politics on the Internet and on television. It appears the fight is between a donkey and an elephant. Sometimes they fight with boxing gloves (sometimes the gloves come off and they fight with words). See graphic below.

The weird thing about this type of good fighting is that humans outside the ring get to join in. They call it voting. It’s like cheering for the donkey or elephant by writing down which one you like best on a piece of paper.

What’s the prize at the end? It appears to be bragging rights and the ability to boss around a bunch of people in a giant white house. I’m still working on this. The point is that Jet says that most Americans never box or wrestle; they seldom take Judo lessons but they all need to vote.

Here’s my lesson of the day… It’s okay if you don’t like to wrangle like a dog or fight, Judo style, against another person. However, if you’re a U.S. citizen, you need to vote because it’s the only type of fighting where everyone wins. – Even the spectators.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Brinkley who asked: I’m only 4 months old and still have lots to learn. I was visiting a new friend yesterday and he snapped at me when I took his toy. I just wanted to play so why was he so mean?

Dear Brinkley:

You look so sad and puppies should always be happy. I'm sorry your new friend wasn't friendly. It may be that he thought you were stealing his toy and it upset him. On the other hand, he may have just been a bonehead (my name for dog jerks). Just remember that most dogs and humans are inherently good so don't judge either one too harshly based on one bad event.

CONSUMPTION CONTROL

2010-10-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

I’m watching the television show, “My Dog Ate What?” As I dog, I can honestly say that my canine kind will just about eat anything. My pal Nokona prefers dried worms (after he rolls over them) where as Piper likes dried rabbit poop. I prefer crazy things like caviar (just joking). But I digress.

On this particular episode of the show, the dog ate an enormous helping of rocks. Yep. The dog consumed over 20 sizeable rocks that of course could not be digested or expelled. After days of torture and surgery, the rocks were out of his stomach and he’s rock’in and rollin’ again (so to speak) in his backyard where upon he came upon the same rock pile and began to eat rocks again.

I know what you’re thinking: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S EATING ROCKS AGAIN AFTER ALL THAT TORTURE. You know what I was thinking? HOW COULD THESE HUMANS BE SO STUPID TO LEAVE THE SAME ROCK PILE IN THE BACKYARD FOR THE SAME STUPID DOG TO EAT AGAIN?

In truth, the humans were lame for not cleaning up the rock pile and the dog is just… a dog. People should know better and yet humans are just the same. Case in point: humans are always consuming things they shouldn’t (drugs) or too much of something (alcohol or food). Despite the outcomes (diabetes, obesity, heart failure, premature death) humans continue to consume what they shouldn’t or consume too much of what they should ingest.

Here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs are dogs. We eat what tastes good. Sometimes this is a rock. Humans are supposed to be smarter. How will a human protect us (dogs) when they fail (so often) to protect themselves? Humans: get you’re act together. If a dog is obese or eating rocks… it’s your fault. If you’re overeating and as a result dealing with obesity, heart disease and move like a rock… that’s your fault too. For heave’s sake, get your act together for both our sakes.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Jasper and Razzer who asked: How can we walk together with our human? He walks us one at a time (bummer) and we like to enjoy the time outside together.

Dear Jasper and Razzer:

Do what my buddies (Lacy and Skipper) do and get your human to purchase a shared leash like the one below.

BULLY BEHAVIOR

2010-10-25T07:06:00.000-05:00

Humans treat dogs differently at different times. When I lived on the streets (before Jet rescued me), people treated me like a leper. Granted, I looked like a leper. Suffering from a type of mange, I was nearly hairless and my skin was beet red. Humans avoided me, stared at me, through rocks at me, and ran from me. Some of my toughest days as an abandoned dog were not the days I went without food or little water but the days I had to endure, albeit survive the cruel ridicule of the humans I was starving to know. The humans that were supposed to be my friends had transformed in to bullies that beat me up with words and actions.

Once I was rescued and no longer living on the street, things really changed. It was as if by the very nature of ‘belonging’ to one human, I was automatically accepted by all humans. Jet’s neighbors asked about me, the vets examined me, and strangers inquired about my red skin and wished me well.

I bring this topic up because I see a similar disturbing situation happening with mini humans, also known as kids. Each day, these smaller humans go to a place called school that is kind of like a grownup’s version of work. While there, the kids that are supposed to be their pals are really bullies. The bullies say terrible things to the other kids and ridicule them with cruel actions. In other words, these kids are treated like dogs on the street. There’s even a new iPhone app that scans and rates your face on an Ugly Meter. This rating is then shared with other bullies at school.

It gives you pause (not paws).

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dog or human, no one should be treated like a leper. – Even lepers deserve better. Bullies are created not born. We don’t give birth to babies with poison in their spirit. In fact, my mom would have bit me on the butt if I treated my fellow pups poorly. (Actually, she did one time.) Parents need to teach their kids that how they treat other humans – matters and when they treat others badly, someone needs to bite these kids on the butt before God does it for them.

The question of the day is from Frito who asked: Why is it that humans have special cakes for their birthday but dogs just get a bone?

Dear Frito:

Dogs can have special birthday cakes too. Send your human to the link below. They can purchase a bone cake pan. Humans! Be sure the ingredients in the cake are veterinarian approved.

http://www.doggyduds.com/item/Pup_Cake_Bone_Shape_Pan/1185/c36

PET MINISTRY

2010-10-22T06:40:00.000-05:00

Humans underestimate the healing power of a dog. It’s magical pet power. - Like a super hero but better. Yep, the mere presence of a canine companion can boost healing for the spirit, for the heart and for the body of a human.

I call this pet ministry. Yes I know that pet ministry is about a pastor, rabbi, priest or some other God-loving human saying a blessing over a dog or a cat. This is all backwards. Think about it: ministry means the act of serving or, one that serves as a means. Who else represents this definition better than a dog?

Studies show that simply petting an animal, such as a dog, can actually lower the heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure. It’s therapeutic.

Therapy dogs have been an ideal solution for healing soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Nearly 20% of the soldiers who served in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD. This has resulted in more than 100 soldier suicides every year. Many soldiers are discovering that a dog is worth its weight in gold when it comes to working through their depression. We are good listeners, we never tell anyone your secrets – ever - and we love you regardless of what you have done or say. Jet, my foster mom, says if she could find a man like this, she’d marry him. Organizations like Pets-to-Vets is leveraging this new approach as a way for dogs to serve the wonderful soldiers that first served us.

If you haven’t considered how awesome we (dogs) are when it comes to helping others, just look at what we can do for the elderly. These are the humans that look like a wrinkly Shar-Pei. Jet used to work in a nursing home and she said it was tough seeing how lonely the elderly people were because they got so few visitors. They just need a dog. You can count on us to show up. Its been proven that the wrinkly humans that have pets or regular pet visits will live longer, healthier lives and are better about eating and taking the treatments that make them feel better.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dogs make great pals. We’re 100% loyal and always in a good mood. – Bet you can’t say that about any human. In addition, dogs are like physicians but better. We heal health and hearts. Take your dog to visit someone lonely, wrinkly or broken and watch what wonderful magic happens. – You’ll be better for it too.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Rumpus who asked: How can phones be ‘smart’ and humans be so dumb?

Dear Rumpus:

Why humans have the need to have smart phones is beyond me. Dumb cell phones work just fine. You’d think that if humans wanted to make something ‘smarter’ they would choose each other.

DOG-TIVITY

2010-10-20T08:10:00.000-05:00

Why do humans think dogs want to do fewer things and have fewer playtime sessions in winter? Just because humans begin to hibernate like a bear as the weather gets cooler doesn’t mean we want to do the same.

We are dogs. We need dog-tivities year-round.

For you humans that appear to be a little short on creativity about what to do with your canine pals during the fall and winter season, I'm giving you a personal ticket to the clue train. Let's take a ride.

One: get a giant box – something a refrigerator would come in – and open it on each end. Bring another dog over and let us chase each other through it until we're dizzy.

Two: go to the hamster section of a pet store. Purchase one of the clear balls they roll around in. Put a few pieces of food in it, seal the lid and let us work out the rest.

Three: Buy two-dozen, plastic Easter eggs. Fill them with treats and hide them around the house.

Four: Let us pose for our own dog’olantern and then take us trick or treating with you.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Hibernating is for bears not humans and dogs. Humans need activity (year round) to stay happy and healthy. Dogs are no different. Catch a ride on the clue train and make this winter a real indoor dog-tivity adventure for all of us.

Q Okay, the question of the day is from Wooster who asked: What’s a layoff? My human dad has one. It seems to make him really unhappy. How can I get rid of it?

Dear Wooster:

Your human doesn’t have a layoff; your human has been laid off which means they lost their job. A job is what they do all day when they aren’t playing with you. Humans get rewarded (with green paper they carry around) when they go to their job. The paper must be something like a doggie treat for us. This green paper must be special because most humans go to jobs a lot. Give your human a new job: taking care of you all day. I'm not sure where you can get the green paper they like but taking care of you will give them a reward of a different kind that will earn them green paper in heaven.