WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHES?

Why do humans wear watches?  Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective.  Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in our ears.  Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question: "Why do humans want to wear watches?"  I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws).  I shared this observation with a group of Gen Xers and they smugly responded, “We don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones (which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords or another leash) to check the time.  My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts. 

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if they can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 and 11:00 am.”  

- Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose, sometimes.  For instance, they help you go to meetings on time.  On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do. Take the watch off or simply stop living your life around a watch.  It's just ticking metal.

Okay, the question of the day is from Piddles who asked:  Dear Parker, I have enough fur to sink the Titanic.  This is great if I was cruising in Alaska but I live in Florida where it is so hot in spring and summer.  I’d like to get clipped but my parents are older and can’t afford a groomer. They would clip me but they have… rthitus. What should I do?

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog doesn't care who clips them – groomer or grandma.  Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor (who has full use of their hands) to clip off your winter coat.  Your humans will enjoy the visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.  No dog should have to suffer in such heat and less fur makes a real difference.

WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHES

Why do humans wear watches?  Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective.  Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in a dog’s ears.  Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question as to why humans want to wear them.  I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws).  I shared this observation with a group of Generation Xers and they smugly responded, “Most of us don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones, which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords, to check the time.  My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts. 

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if you can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 am and 11:00 am.”  - Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose sometimes: help you go to meetings on time for instance.  On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do them.  Hmmm. Maybe the ‘leash’ is just in a human’s head.

 

Okay, the question of the day is from Piddles who asked:  Dear Parker, I have enough fur to sink the Titanic.  This is great if I was cruising in Alaska but I live in Florida where it is so hot in spring and summer.  I’d like to get clipped but my parents are older and can’t afford a groomer. They would clip me but they have a hand problem they call…rthitus. What should I do?

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog could care less who clips them – groomer or grandma.  Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor to clip off your winter coat.  They have a nice visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.

WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHE

Why do humans wear watches?  Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective.  Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in a our ears.  Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question, "Why do humans want to wear watches?"  I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws).  I shared this observation with a group of Gen Xers and they smugly responded, “We don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones (which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords) to check the time.  My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts. 

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if they can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 am and 11:00 am.”  

- Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose sometimes.  For instance, they help humans go to meetings on time. On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do. Hmmm. (Maybe the ‘leash’ is just in a human’s head.) Either take off your watch or at least unleash yourself from living your life around it.

Okay, the question of the day is from Piddles who asked:  Dear Parker, I have enough fur to sink the Titanic.  This is great if I was cruising in Alaska but I live in Florida where it is so hot in spring and summer.  I’d like to get clipped but my parents are older and can’t afford a groomer. They would clip me but they have a hand problem they call…rthitus. What should I do?

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog could care less who clips them – groomer or grandma.  Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor to clip off your winter coat.  They will have a nice visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.

WHERE DO WE BELONG?

If you ask a dog where he or she belongs, they will say something like, “In a human’s lap,” or “In a loving home.”  I’m a foster dog so this is a no brainer.

If you ask a human where they belong, you might get the same answer if he or she was a foster child but for the most part humans don’t appear to know where they belong. What’s the point of having so much intelligence (higher IQs than dogs) if you can’t use it to know yourself well enough to find your place in life?  Case in point:

Fact: Research suggests that at least 54% of the human population is not self-aware enough to self-report accurately.

Fact: 86% of the time, a person’s self perception does not align with reality making it difficult to determine whether a business owner is hiring the right person for the job based on what the recruit is reporting on a typical assessment. 

Fact: A recent Herman Trends Report noted that 50-80% of workers are in jobs for which their personality and interests really aren't well matched.  In fact, eight out of 10 employees are miscast in the right job.

There is a cool personality/emotional intelligence (EQ) profiling tool called CORE that helps humans figure themselves out so they are more likely to find more fulfilling work because they realize the work they are best suited to do.  All in all, a dog’s ‘work’ is to take care of humans but we have other jobs including serving as eyes for blind humans, rescuing humans after a natural disaster, to name a few.  Sometimes we are like humans and we are placed into jobs that aren’t best for us. 

I watched a hospital reality show this weekend about a German Shepherd that was hired to help the security guys in the emergency room. He was supposed to help police officers in the hospital to subdue bad people that tried to do bad things in the hospital.  When a crazed patient attacked doctors, the German Shepherd was brought in to help but he cowered instead of trying to fight.  He’s in the wrong job.  

Later, when a child came to the hospital screaming with pain, the Shepherd went to him and comforted the child. The child calmed down and the doctor took care of him.

Now the Shepherd ‘works’ in the hospital to calm patients rather than attack them.  He's in the right job.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… If you have a human lap to sit in or a loving home to stay in, then you really have all you need as a dog but if your purpose extends beyond this, then try to make sure that your dog is in the right ‘job’.  Just as this is best for a human, it is best for a dog too.

 

Okay, the question of the day is from Skitter who asked:  Dear Parker, why does my human mom spray stuff on the flowers in her garden to make them stink?  Although I LOVE the stinky smell, most humans want flowers to smell sweet.

Dear Skitter:

I suspect you are talking about a product called ‘Deer Off’.  It smells like something dead that a dog would bring into the house to chew on. Yum.  Humans use it on their flowers to keep deer, rabbits and other critters from eating their flowers.  Works good and it won’t hurt us (dogs).

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

Frat the cat (my cryptic illustration below) is my friend.  

I can’t explain why exactly since I don’t much like cats.  I’m a rat terrier and we generally find them either annoying or more like a toy to chase.  There’s something about Frat’s chronic deadpan facial expression and bone-dry sense of humor.  The more miserable he tries to look, the more just looking at him makes me laugh. Which leads me to my point in today’s blog entry.

I don’t invite cats into my life yet here he is: Frat.  Jet, my foster mom, says sometimes we get the friends we need.  As a career dog and professional blog columnist, or dogamist as I like to call myself, I can be so serious.  Deadlines and topic issues are always on my dog mind.  Frat’s face makes me laugh.  The humor is good for my dog soul.

I’ve heard of other strange pals that dog’s hooked up with over time including a dog with a bird, a goat, an elephant and a horse.  They make for strange bedfellows but maybe it’s what they need rather than want humans think they want.  

Humans might consider this concept.  Jet had a friend (Katy) that kept attracting old people.  They were kind of tough to hang out with at wine-thirty (because they kept nodding off) but Katy did find her time with these senior citizens more…enriching.  She ended up changing her work place from physical therapist (PT) in a hospital to a PT in a retirement home. She loves it.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Humans are always trying to get one dog another dog for companionship.  I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but maybe our ideal ‘companion’ is not what you think.  The same may be for a human.  If you’re not attracting the friends you want, take a closer look because you may be attracting the friends you need. If that seems to be the case, you might find this odd friend a bit of a strange bedfellow and yet exactly what you need.

Okay, the question of the day is from WIFI who asked:  Dear Parker, my little girl human wants an ant farm?  Does this mean we will have to move to a farm?  I hope not.  I like the city life.

Dear Wifi:

I bet you got your name from that new TV commercial.  Pretty cool.

Okay, let me explain that an ant farm is where humans can observe ants ‘farming’ soil to create their homes and channels to get from one point to another point.  It’s not really a farm or ranch so you don’t have to move.  Humans buy these ant farms at educational stores or toy stores.  See example below.  If you and your human want to experience an ant farm then tour one inside like the kind in the second photo below.  Pretty farm out – huh?

PICK UP YOUR POOP

Jet, my foster mom, has found it hard to live in a neighborhood where owners have to pick up their dogs’ poop.  She grew up in the sticks where dogs did their deed anywhere and there was no neighbor, law enforcement officer or Home Owner’s Association who cared about it.

Having said that, it is the rule in our neighborhood and she carries colorful, eco-friendly bags to pick up my poop when we go on walks.  Since I spend more time with humans than dogs, I notice that there should be a rule where humans need to pick up their poop too.  Now before you get bent out of shape about what this implies, let me clarify.

Humans are constantly making ‘messes’ in other peoples’ yards (litter), other peoples’ lives (divorces, child custody fights) and businesses (theft, fraud).  It may look one way but in truth, it’s just another type of poop one human drops on another human’s life.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Stop ‘dropping’ all these problems on other humans.  When you do drop poop on other people’s lives, pick it up instead of leaving your mess for someone else to clean up. 

Okay, the question of the day is from Miso who asked:  Dear Parker, you should see my new figure.  I had gained a lot of weight but I only ate what was given me so I couldn’t understand why I kept getting fatter and my joints were failing under the extra weight.  My mom got “pre-measured food” and it’s working.

Dear Miso:

Love your name… like Miso Soup.  Cute. I’m thrilled to hear your weight is where it should be.  Even though most dogs should have measured food portions, most humans fail to actually serve the correct amount.  One of the veterinarian approved products on the market today that is ideal for solving this problem is called Prescription Diet. The box contains pre-packaged food and treats in individual packets.  (See photo below.) This ensures you are only served what you should be eating at each meal.

ATTRACTING WHAT?

Nature is a great teacher if you’re paying attention.  For example, watch what a grown

Killdeer will do if you get too close to its babies.  This bird is renowned for it’s ‘broken wing’ impression (see photo below).  When predators get too close to their young, one of the parents will zoom in front of the predator and pretend it has a broken wing.  The weak attract the strong.  The attention of the hunter moves to the parent while the baby bird moves to safety.  About the time the hunter gets to the parent bird, they fly away.

In the case of the Killdeer, the parent bird is purposely attracting danger to save their babies but its orchestrated and timed to save them all.  Attracting danger to a nest is different.  Notice that you will never (or seldom) see birds build their nests near bird feeders.  Why?  Bird feeders attract a lot of birds and when you have many birds, you attract hawks in the air and cats on the ground.  – Predators you don’t want near baby birds and nests.  Again, the birds only attract what they know is best for all.

Humans are funny.  They seem to attract what they feed versus what they need.  What I mean is, they feed their ego with fancy cars and clothes when what they need is more money in their savings account; they feed their drug addictions when what they need is a clear head to sort out what is fueling the pain that the drugs seem to temporarily neutralize.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… I realize that humans think that animals, pets, critters are not near as smart as they are but it seems to me that we are better than humans at attracting what we need than what we feed. The lesson?  Humans should take a hard look at what they attract in their life because too many of you do things that attract predatory problems you feed versus the safety and support you need.

Okay, the question of the day is from Fooie who asked:  Dear Parker, my parents (human) had a home fire drill with the kids and I.  I’m not sure what to make of it?  Can you explain the purpose for me?

Dear Fooie:

All families should sit down together and practice what to do if there is a fire in your home.  What if a kid is trapped in a bedroom, do they know how to get out through a window?  Did your humans post a sign on and/or near all the doors in your house to indicate there are pets inside so rescuers know to look for you?  You can get these door and window ‘pet inside’ notices from the ASPCA or make your own but be sure, before there is an emergency, that it is done.

SIGNIFICANCE

Okay, call me corny but I like just about every show on Animal Planet and another TV program called Extreme Makeover.  If you haven’t seen Extreme Makeover, it’s a show where a special family that has either endured really tough times and/or has spent their life helping others to the point of living in a raggedy house.  Extreme Makeover people send these families on vacation and while they are gone construct an extreme, new home for them.  The happy ending (when the family gets a new home) is better than any fairy tale.

A guy on one of the Extreme Makeover shows was explaining why he and his family sacrificed so much for others.  He said, “You can be successful and not be significant.”  I had to think about that one.  I’m a dog and we tend to see things in a simple manner (which might not be a bad idea for most humans). It seemed the logical place to work this out in my head was by understanding the meaning of each word.

Success: Attainment of fame, wealth, or power; something that turns out well; achievement of intention

Significant: meaningful, momentous and influential, substantial

I thought about how hard humans work to be 'successful'.  Usually their ‘success’ is tied to something they call a job or career in exchange for green paper they use to purchase stuff like art, boats, clothes, jewelry, golf clubs and such.  - All things a dog can’t use or appreciate.  When you feed a starving dog, that’s meaningful, when you volunteer for a shelter fundraiser, that’s momentous, when you foster an unloved animal, that’s substantial.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… It seems to me that the Home Makeover guy was on to something.  Just by definition, doing things that are significant seem to be a lot more worthwhile than doing things that humans call successful.  I’d challenge all humans to consider how they spend their time in 2011 to passionately pursue (like a dog does a bone) significance, not success.

Okay, the question of the day is from Spot who asked:  Dear Parker, my teeth are in bad shape.  I keep trying to tell my human how important it is to keep them clean through special gum chews from the vet and brushing but they don’t listen. My teeth hurt. Isn’t this bad?

Dear Spot:

Taking care of a dog’s teeth is very important.  One, you need them to chew. After you lose your 28 baby teeth, you’ll end up with 42 permanent teeth.  -The point being the word ‘permanent’.  To keep them, you must take care of them.

Two, gum disease from tartar creates all sorts of bacteria that can end up in other parts of your body which can damage your kidneys, heart, intestines and joints.  Talk to your vet and they will get your humans to take better care of your teeth.  If they don't, use the teeth you have left and bite them until they get the point.

HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?

It’s Valentine season and not just for humans.  This seems to be a big deal month for humans.  They give each other candy (that's a treat for humans) and heart-shaped stuff.  I also noticed the American Heart Association uses the month of February to promote healthy heart habits for humans. 

Why you ask?  Because despite what humans think, dogs know that the number one killer of humans is heart attacks/heart disease.  How is it that dogs know more about the human heart than humans do?  Hmmmm.

Which brings me around to my favorite topic: pets.  Pets are so good for the human heart.  We keep the heart loved and comforted.  I’d like to think that a pet’s love (especially a dog’s) is all a heart needs but it’s just not enough.  Hearts need proper food and exercise and it’s important that heart health goes both ways: humans need to take care of their pets’ hearts too.

Can you imagine a better time to show your dog and cat how much you really love them (and their heart) than a Valentine gift?  Would you like a suggestion?  A heartworm-free pet!  Better yet, get your dog and/or cat examined for heartworms and keep them on monthly heartworm treatment. After that, add an ASPIRINPOD heart to their collar as a constant reminder of their love for you and the need for heart care for them. 

What’s an Aspirinpod you ask?  It’s a tiny pod that holds an aspirin for humans and serves as a heartworm medicine reminder for pets.  My pal Piper is modeling one of these lovely gifts below.  Want to order one for your human and pet Valentines?  Click on the link below to place an order for you and your pals. 

http://www.aspirinpod.com/cart.html.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Valentines is great for humans: they give extra attention to one another, lots of chocolate treats and bubbly stuff called champagne.  My advice, make this holiday about loving your humans and pets EVERY day with a check-up and an ASPIRINPOD.  … Because love isn’t just for holidays.

Okay, the question of the day is from Tippy who asked:  Dear Parker, I’m happy.  When I’m happy, I vigorously wag my tail.  When humans are happy, they show their teeth in a weird way. I believe they call it smiling.  When a dog shows its teeth, we’re usually pissed off at something or someone so how does a human know we’re happy by our wagging tail?

Dear Tippy:

Great question Tippy and I relish (word of the day) answering it.  Some humans show happiness by laughing and others by crying.  You may have heard your humans say, “My friend was crying tears of joy.”  My point?  Humans understand there are all sorts of ways to show happiness – even if you’re a dog.  ...So wag away.

THE GRINCH THAT STOLE BUSINESS

It takes a special kind of human to hit an animal.  My foster mom (Jet) says there’s a special place in hell for these humans. I gather from Jet’s tone that hell is a very, very crummy place.

One of the other ways humans hurt creatures, especially a lot of dogs, is dumping them because they can no longer afford to keep them. Nationwide, 84 percent of shelters and rescue groups last year reported increased numbers of family pets being given up or just abandoned. Some shelters have seen an increase of 9% to more than 20% of abandoned family pets in their area. What would possess a human to leave a family member behind? Would you leave your son behind or abandon your daughter? We are ‘family’ members just like your kids.

Humans say they can’t afford to keep us and blame the situation on the economy.  The economy doesn’t dump dogs; people do.

I asked Jet about the economy issue.  She said that small businesses (about 29.6 million of them) are the backbone of America’s revenue-generating, job-stimulating economy.  The problem, she noted, is that it is tough for small firms to get capital or grow in such an un-stabile environment.

“What is this Grinch that stole business,” I ask?

It appears that some humans blame it on politicians and government regulations.  I blame it on the humans that vote for leaders and then don’t hold them accountable for making better decisions that help our country’s businesses and economy.  (Okay, I might have gotten this last comment from Jet.)

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Dumping a dog is not the fault of a bad economy anymore than a lousy economy is the fault of a lousy law or regulation.  It’s about humans that don’t have the backbone (and I know bones) to do the right thing.  Next time you hear someone say they may need to give up their dog or abandon their cat because of the economy, remind them a bad economy is an excuse but it takes a bad human to dump an animal. Consider living leaner.  You’ll save money to survive in tough times and save your ‘family’ pet too.

Okay, the question of the day is from Jastus who asked:  Dear Parker, I am looking for happy stories to share with humans that would motivate them to adopt a dog that needs a home.

Dear Jastus:

I’ve got just what you need.  There is a wonderful rescue program called Last Chance Highway.  Send every human you know to the link below to view Last Chance Highway’s top 10 rescue stories.  It will surely twist their heart into action – directly to a local rescue shelter.

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/last-chance-highway/home-adoption-stories/home-adoption-stories.html