WHY DO HUMANS WEAR WATCHES?

Why do humans wear watches?  Watches appear to be such a nuisance.

Look at them from a dog’s perspective.  Watches are constantly ticking in your ear like the tags on our collars clink in our ears.  Watches are binding; they put funny tan lines on wrists, you can’t jump in the lake with them on and they are constantly reminding humans of what they still need to do before the next hour passes.

It seems to me the watch is the human version of a leash, which begs the question: "Why do humans want to wear watches?"  I shared this observation with some Baby Boomers and it gave them pause (not paws).  I shared this observation with a group of Gen Xers and they smugly responded, “We don’t wear watches.” Of course their smug smile disappeared when I reminded them that this is only because they use their cell phones (which appear to be tethered to their bodies like umbilical cords or another leash) to check the time.  My point is that regardless of the generation, humans are obsessed with time and the obsession (in the form of a watch or a clock on a smart phone) works like a leash of sorts. 

Think about it.

Leashes keep a dog in check; stop the dog from doing things or confine their actions. Watches have the same effect on humans. “I better not go to the dog park with you (checking their watch) because I may not get back in time for…” or “I’d consider bicycling with my friends and dog again but only if they can schedule the rides on Saturday’s between 8 and 11:00 am.”  

- Binding, confining.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Consider that watches serve a positive purpose, sometimes.  For instance, they help you go to meetings on time.  On the other hand, consider that watches can also be a hindrance (word of the day) because they are also a reminder of the things you should do but (supposedly) just don’t have the time to do. Take the watch off or simply stop living your life around a watch.  It's just ticking metal.

Okay, the question of the day is from Piddles who asked:  Dear Parker, I have enough fur to sink the Titanic.  This is great if I was cruising in Alaska but I live in Florida where it is so hot in spring and summer.  I’d like to get clipped but my parents are older and can’t afford a groomer. They would clip me but they have… rthitus. What should I do?

Dear Piddles:

I believe you are referring to arthritis, a condition that makes it very difficult for humans to use their hands. Please remind your parents that a dog doesn't care who clips them – groomer or grandma.  Tell them to make some fresh lemonade and invite over a younger neighbor (who has full use of their hands) to clip off your winter coat.  Your humans will enjoy the visit, the visitor enjoys the lemonade and you get comfortable for the hotter months of the year.  No dog should have to suffer in such heat and less fur makes a real difference.