The Dash in the Date

My foster mom Jet came home from church on Sunday looking very pensive. (My new word for the week.) She didn’t seem sad but acted like she was far away. This was confusing since she was standing right in front of me.

I nudged her a bit and she sat down, looked outside and patted me on the head. Afraid I must be missing something, I ran to the door to look outside. What in heavens could she be looking at that was so special? I couldn’t figure it out since there wasn’t anything different in the backyard.

Finally, she picked up that square thing that rings (my buddy Ratchet loves to chew on them) and held it up to her ear and started talking. I’m sitting attentively but she seems to be talking to someone else. Apparently she can’t stop thinking about the sermon that morning. The sermon was about the dash in the dates. Basically it’s the line between the day you’re born and the day you die. I’ve seen this type of information written on big rocks that stand up in big parks. Mom calls the place a graveyard.

In any case, she said that the pastor (that’s the guy yelling stuff at everyone while hiding behind a giant tree trunk) said we should think about that dash. What for? Isn’t a dash a quick run for a short distance? (Human language is so confusing.)

Jet says I’m right because the dash means a short run but in the way the pastor means it, the dash stands for the life we’ve lived between the date we’re born and the date when we die. The dash stands for our legacy and the history we leave behind. (Heavy talk.)

So today, I’m going to spend some quality time thinking about my dash time and what I’ll leave behind for the humans and dogs I love and I hope my readers will do the same.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Quizno, who asked: I’m bored. Mom and Dad are gone all day. When they come home, they’re too tired to do anything. What can I do that’s fun that won’t make my humans more tired?

Dear Quizno:
My friend Ping has tired humans too. They blow up balloons for him to play with and he LOVES it. Give it a try. Check out the little guy in this video and you’ll see it’s easy on the 2-legged humans and great for you.




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ALERT – MOUSE TRAPS

You may not realize it but rat terriers (my kind) were bred to search out and kill rats in the White House. (– That big old mansion in D.C.) When my mom explained that humans often use mousetraps to catch rats and mice, I found this… perplexing.

Why in heavens would you want to put out nasty traps that don’t necessarily kill the critter and make it messy to dispose of them when rat terriers volunteer to do this every day? We are talking SERIOUS fun for my breed.

My foster mom Jet and I talked about the situation and she said she no longer uses traps since she has me. She also said there are other reasons to be careful where you use traps because it might have “unintended consequences.” I had to ask her what this term means and she explained it like this…

Her sister and brother-in-law put out mousetraps one year. They heard a noise one night and when they looked in one of their traps, they found a little owl had trapped his foot in it. See his cute little fuzzy face below. So, the trap was INTENDED for mice but hurt an innocent critter (unintended consequence).

They gently set the little guy free, nursed him overnight in a warm box (it was cold outside) and he flew away the next day.

I’ve noticed humans create situations that create unintended consequences all the time. For example, in my old neighborhood, one of the guys dumped Freon in his gutter. One of my dog pals two doors down licked it up and nearly died. You get the point. The guy didn’t intend to hurt anyone but because he didn’t carefully think about the impact of his actions, there were unintended consequences. Another example of this type of situation is the healthcare bill. (Jet says it was shoved down our throat but if it was food, why would you care?)

Apparently the bill was intended to provide insurance for the uninsured. Sadly, tax paying, small business owners are going to pay the price and reduce jobs as a result (unintended consequences). Perhaps the lesson for humans here is to take a little time to think about what will happen when you do certain things. Seems like the world might be a better place if we did.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Digit who asked: I love the water. I can’t get enough of it. Mom and Dad want to take me on the boat but they’re afraid I won’t be safe. What can I do to convince them that I’m as safe as the rug rats they haul out on the boat?

Dear Digit:
The solution is so easy. Rug rats (no kin to the rats I LOVE to catch) are safe on the water because they wear a life jacket. Dogs can too. Simply tell your humans to put you in a life jacket and away you go to enjoy safe fun with the family.


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The Match Game?

What’s up with humans and playing the match game? I believe you
call it Match.com or Chemistry.com.

I asked my foster mom (Jet) about these services and she said,
“Well, they’re make believe “meeting places” on the Internet
where people go to find someone to love them. She says they often
post information you really don’t want to share and photos that hide
your age and exaggerate your good looks. I could be wrong but I think
my foster mom is cynical. (That’s a word Jet taught me last week.)

In any case, I asked Jet if these places work because it seems like
it would be a lot easier just to smell each other like dogs do. I
mean, why go to a fake place online to show photos that aren’t…
accurate and read words that don’t matter when you could just meet
in a real place (like a park) and actually check each other out?

Imagine dogs using a service like this… (Pause to imagine.)

Clearly humans are more intelligent than dogs but this appears to be an area where we might be able to teach you a few things. If you like a certain type of dog (oops, human) then go to places you know
they’ll like... Dogs might pick a nice shiny fire hydrant. Next, if you don’t feel comfortable smelling them, at least shake their hand, look them thoughtfully in the eye and say hello. The key here is how you look them in the eye. If you connect in that moment, give the person the old dog try on a date.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Bee Gee who asked: I HATE taking pills. Anything you can do to make this easier?

Dear Bee Gee
Dude! You are way behind the times. Ask your parents to purchase “pill pockets” for you. They are YUM-MEE treats with a hole in the center. Humans hide a pill inside (and we pretend its not there) and then give the pocket to you. It tastes great and you’ll never taste the pill.

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THE IMPACT OF CHANGE

Change can be good. For example, your human might get a new job and
when they come home, the family is rewarded with a fancy meal and
you get a new bone. This is good change.

Change can also be very stressful. For example, you might get
married to someone that has six kids that all have to adjust to
living with your four kids in one small house. Yikes!

Sometimes I think humans forget that change (good and bad) impacts
the loving pets in their lives too.

Which brings to mind the lady that wrote me about the tired looking
dog that walked in to her yard one day. He was groomed and healthy
but followed the lady in to her house and went to sleep. An hour
later he gestured to get out of the house and went home. This
happened every day so finally the lady pinned a note to his collar
that said: Do you know your dog is napping at my house every day?

When the dog returned the next day, he had a new note on his collar
that said: He now lives with six kids (two of them under the age of
three) and he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. May I join him?
Children are a joy but they can be hard on us four-legged guys.
Which brings me to my last story today.

Recently, my neighbor dog Miles was blessed with another baby in the
family. His mom and dad have a little girl and they just brought home
their newborn son. - Lots of change.

We invited Miles over to our house for fun, bones and some extra TLC
(tender loving care). I can’t tell you how great it is to have a
pal to play with in my own house. It’s like doggie daycare except
better and Miles is MUCH more relaxed too.

My point? Change impacts ALL family members. This includes us four-
legged companions too. Next time you invite big changes into your
life, be sure your pet get the kind of treatment needed to cope with
the changes in a healthy manner.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Lacy and Lucky who asked: Recently our mom and dad hung up a portrait of us in the house. Although it is quite nice (we really are good looking) they did not warn us of the portrait and we freaked (out as you will see when you view the attached video).



Do you think our parents should have asked our permission before hanging the picture up?

Dear Lacy and Lucky:
Rumor has it that you guys are a real handful. In fact, my doggie grapevine informs me you ate five pies on Thanksgiving that were meant for your human family members. As I recall, you are also the dogs that eat books. My point of bringing all this up is that dogs with your reputation should be thankful that your parents want to hang up your picture rather than just hang you. Seriously you guys, the portrait looks great. Lap up a little wine with your mom and dad and relax.



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A 'Samaritan’ in All of Us?

Unless you live under a rock (where I find the best worms) you probably heard the story about the German Shepherd (Buddy) that led rescuers to his owner’s house. As the story goes, the owner Ben Heinrichs was working in the family garage when spark from a heater ignited gasoline. Buddy’s owner sent the dog away, commanding him “to get help”.

The family lived in an extremely rural area that the fire and rescue guys could not find. Buddy ran over a mile from the house to a fork in the road to lead a police car in the right direction.

Crawl out from under your rock and view the YouTube video of the entire event (through the eye of the cop car camera) via the link below.



There are endless stories of how all sorts of creatures have saved the lives of their owners or others. They apply courage, empathy and a loving energy. Which brings me to humans and their capacity to do the same thing.

This weekend, a street person in New York came to the rescue of a woman who was attacked by a purse-snatcher. His selfless act saved the woman (and her purse) but in the end he was stabbed. Now here’s the kicker, the homeless man lay bleeding to death on the sidewalk (after all he had done for the woman) while person after person walked right by him. My foster mom (Jet) and I watched the incident on TV and boy did she get mad.

I guess what neither of us could understand was how a dog could be so compassionate and helpful while so many humans simply looked the other way. Imagine dogs making humans look so lame.

What’s up with humans? You like saving money, you fight to save energy, you lobby to save the environment but you don’t want to save the life of one of your own.

As my foster mom would say, “Are you on crack?”

Seriously, humans need to take a long, hard look at the Lassie Samaritan inside their heart. I had to “probe” (my new word for the day) Jet to explain this term for me. Essentially, Lassie the collie is renowned for rescuing people she loved but the Good Samaritan (from the Bible) is about helping or rescuing anyone, including strangers.

Humans! Take note.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from MANDY who asked: I can’t sleep without my ‘bug-bug’. It’s my tiny stuffed ladybug. My mom takes it away periodically to wash it and I can’t sleep (so she doesn’t sleep) until it dries two days later. Help. – Sleepless in Texas

Dear Mandy (Sleepless in Texas)This is one of those easy to solve problems. I wrote your mom and told her to buy a second ‘bug-bug’ for you so you always have a back up when one of them is being washed.




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SENIORS ARE SPECIAL

My foster mom Jet told me that sometimes life (God) throws stuff at you to get your attention. The stuff (so she says) impacts you forever and if you’re paying attention, these events will trigger some momentous change in character or instill great enlightenment.

One of these events she experienced was nearly losing her Papa last year. She called in the cavalry (Care Flight) to rescue him. He lived but had to go to a special rehab hospital for physical therapy. She said he really missed his little girl Cricket. That’s his dog. Unlike Jet who got to see him every day, Cricket had to pine at home without him. She was sad, he was sad. Jet and her sister Deborah orchestrated a surprise visit for Cricket at the rehab center. What a homecoming! As you can see by the photo below, it was a joyous moment.

Jet says pets are very important for seniors that are healing from surgery too because nothing heals the body like a happy heart. Proof is how fast her Papa got better after he got to enjoy a visit with his dog Cricket at the rehab center.

Jet is on a mission to help seniors (in rehab, in homes or nursing home facilities) to get pets. It gives them a reason to get up each day, it gives them someone to love and care for throughout the day. And, the pet is pleased as punch.

So, let’s talk about senior citizens. You need to be on the lookout for one of these types of humans if you have a buddy who needs an owner. They are usually a little wrinkly like a Shar-Pei and often have lots of white hair.

Seniors make GREAT parents because they have plenty of time to hang out with you and they are almost always lonely so they are very loyal to us. Now, there are a few downsides to hanging out with the silver hairs.

There memory is about as long as that of a goldfish. – About 30 seconds. So they may forget to feed you on time. On the other hand, like a goldfish, they are always happy to see you every time you re-enter their castle. They are slow. If you’re hyper like me, have them take you to the doggie park to run with the other canine kids and use your time with them for slow walks in the woods. Too often, people go for little puppies and forget old dogs can be loyal, loving friends. People seem to have the same problem and forget that older humans have a lot to offer too. Good lessons for all.

Okay, gotta run but first a question from Gus who asked: Now that my owners are turning 65 and getting a gold watch, they are going to be retarded. Do they have any special needs at this time?

Dear Gus:
You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but you’re awful conscientious (caring). First, it’s retired, not retarded. Retired means they are tired of working all the time and finally figured out what us dogs know from the start: love, laughter, fun and food are better than 9-to-5 jobs. You will find them around more (always a good thing) and less apt to have that phone thingy strapped to their ear all day long. Enjoy these years with them and watch out for the grand kids.



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RETURN TO SENDER

I was watching the news recently about the brouhaha about the seven-year-old Russian kid who was adopted by a US mom and then “returned” back to Russia like a bad store purchase.

The adopting monster (oops – Freudian slip), the adopting mother said the kid had behavioral problems. Who doesn’t? I’ve seen adults with more behavioral problems than any unruly kid. My foster mom (Jet) says she dated a few of these Peter Pan delinquents. Hmmm.

My foster mom also says there’s a special place in you-know-where for people like the ‘mother’ of the Russian kid. I’m not sure what she means by this but her tone makes it clear that the “where” is not a fun place to be.

It’s sad to see a kid put in such a terrible situation. Imagine how he feels now: unloved, unwanted, unworthy. Now, try to translate this in to my world. I was abandoned and when I ended up in the pound, I met so many dogs that were ‘returned to sender’ and then ditched all together. Imagine how we feel when this happens: unloved, unwanted, unworthy.

In my neighborhood, Jet has two friends (Todd and Sam) that adopted two dogs. They’re much better now but holy macaroni they were a tough, unruly handful at first. Todd and Sam never gave up though. They loved them, encouraged them and never returned them. Kudos for parents like this!

Adoption is a big deal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or a child. However, I encourage all humans to “do” it not “try” it.

Okay, gotta run but first a question from Hula who asked: My family and I are from Hawaii. Now we live in Vegas. It’s hot and dry and I miss the ocean (is she ever going to get to the question?) so my question (finally!) is, what can I do to get over the homesickness?

Dear Hula:
First, make sure you’re homesick and not seasick. My friend traveled from Maui and the trip to the mainland was a – a bear. In any case, here’s what I recommend. Visit the lovely Sands hotel. It’s the closest you’re going to get to the sand for a while and though not a substitute for a run on a beach, it is such a nice resort and the service is so good that you’re likely to forget Hawaii for a few hours. Next, go online and converse with some of your pigeon-talking buddies. Skype is free and you can hear the local language first hand. Finally, remember that home is where the dog is and since you are now in Vegas, it’s just as much your home as the beautiful shores of Hawaii.


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THE BEST “DESIGNER” DOG

Did you know that 25-30% of dogs available for adoption in animal shelters are purebreds? The other 70-75%, of course, are lovable, wonderful mutts or “poi dogs” as they refer to them in Hawaii. (I get around a lot.)

I don’t mind purebreds. Despite their hoity-toity pedigree most of them are really nice. What I do mind is that too many mixed breed adoptee dogs are considered less adoptable, not as special just because of the mish-mash genetics. In truth, the love of a dog is gold regardless of his or her “background”. And consider the side benefits of a mutt.

One, they don’t have as many genetic problems. Two, you have the mystery of trying to figure out how they are likely to act or, if they’re a puppy, what they’ll look like when they grow up. Look at the Wanted Posters below of both types of dogs and tell me both these guys are not just as special as the other.

Now, before I close on this topic, consider a new challenge in the market for mutts: designer dogs. Whereas purebreds hale a progeny derived from several generations of the same breed, designer dogs are a mix of two (usually) purebreds. It’s like a super breed. As Charlie Brown would say, “Good grief.”

Recently a little dog named Lily (see photo below) emailed me about how bodaciously (it’s not even a real word) awesome it was to be a Chiweenie (part Chihuahua and part dachshund). Okay, she’s kinda cute but now the poi dogs really don’t have a chance.

All I’m saying is that whether designer, purebred or poi, you’re adopting a bundle of joy, of love not a breed.

Okay, gotta run but before I go, here’s the question of the day from Bevo who asked: How can I tell if the promises my humans make to me will actually be carried out? My parents promised to walk me at least twice a day but most days I get a quickie (why are people snickering?) just after dinner. - Some times a longer walk on the weekends. I noticed that the second I do my business (the little and big stuff) that they immediately turn around and take me inside. So it stands to reason that they are not walking me because they like how much joy it brings me but instead they are walking me just so I’ll go to the bathroom. I’m not as dumb as they think so I simply hold it longer to get a longer walk. Now, they promised to do something fun with me every weekend like take me to the doggie park or take me shopping at the pet store. Do I believe them or not?

Dear Bevo:

Hey! Were you named after the mascot for the University of Texas, Austin? If so, my foster mom Jet says ‘hello’. She’s a UT-Austin alum. (Apparently that’s a good thing unless you’re from the University of Oklahoma.)Okay, to answer your question… Humans are special to us but that doesn’t mean we are always special to them. Proof is the millions of abandoned dogs (and cats) that desperately need a new home because some lame human broke their promise to take care of them forever. Anyway Jingo, when humans make promises take it with a grain of salt but love them anyway. Our way of loving unconditionally is one of the gifts God gave us (too bad humans don’t catch on to this) and another reason why humans need us as much as we need them.

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The Bark Stops Here

What’s up with all these humans making New Year’s resolutions? Seriously, it’s April and most humans didn’t keep their promise through February. What’s the point of making promises you don’t intend to keep? I love humans. My best friend is a human but that doesn’t mean I always understand them.

A dog makes a promise – they keep it. We promise to love you. We do. We promise to be loyal to you. We are. We promise to greet you with a happy demeanor when you come home. We will.

It’s bad enough that humans fail to keep their promises to each other but hardly any of you keep the promises you make to yourself?!?@#! It’s perplexing that people think so little of themselves that they tend to make the most important promises only once a year (New Year’s) knowing they probably won’t honor the promises. I mean do you guys even think about what resolution means?

Resolution (noun): a firm decision to do something; firmness of mind or purpose. Resolve, at the heart of the word, is a verb, you know, an ACTION word. So, as I love to say, shut the bark up and ACT people! When you have resolve, you come to a firm decision about something. Example: I resolve to quit smoking. (Why would you start such a nasty smelling habit anyway?) This means you don’t talk about quitting. You quit.

And what’s up with all the excuses you use? I’m too busy, I’m too broke, I’m too clueless (for sure), I’m too… You finish the sentence. Take your excuses and flush them down the toilet.

With a dog, in regards to promises, the bark stops here. It seems like our two-legged friends could learn something from their four-legged companions about resolutions.

Okay, gotta run but before I go, here’s the question of the day from Pocket who asked: I was browsing the Internet when I saw this adorable dog in a pocket. Since my name is Pocket, I think it should have been me in the photo.






Dear Pocket:

You are a cute little thing (although the doggie grapevine has it that you are a bit spoiled). The photo is not about getting attention for you (a concept you may have a hard time understanding). This soldier is defending our great country and the puppy in his pocket was abandoned. Despite working hard to save our country from the bad dog terrorists, the soldier is saving the puppy too from a really icky place. Seriously, would you want to give up your lush life and gourmet food for desert sand, hot pocket rides and military MREs (meals-ready-to-eat)? I think not. Ride around in your parent’s pocket. They can even dress in camouflage gear if it will make you feel better.

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Raison d’etre

Unbelievable! I’m watching the National Geographic channel (Nat Geo to fans) to get the latest on what’s cool from Mother Nature. What did I see but a humungous elephant - painting.

This story gets crazier. These elephants have been “re-purposed” as artists. I kid you not.

So here is how it works. Thailand’s domesticated elephants were formally employed by the timber industry to haul teak logs out of the rain forests. In the late ‘80s both anti-logging laws and deforestation literally wiped out the elephants’ job market.

Now, you ask, what do we do with these beloved behemoths? Naturally… let’s transform them into artists. Voila! They have a new raison d'être (reason for being). – Pretty cool including some French language in the dog blog don’t you think?

If you don’t believe me, just check this video out of the elephant that paints.



This just goes to show you that my foster mom was right when she said God’s creatures (especially dogs) are ‘greater than us’ (speaking of humans of course.)

Now, speaking of humans… I know these are hard times and many of you have lost your job or may have work but only part time. First, whatever you do, don’t dump your beloved animals because you don’t have enough food to feed yourself and your critters. Instead, go on a diet. Seriously, couldn’t you stand to lose a few pounds? Plus, when you’re ready, you can always get your pounds back but you can never get your pet and their love back.

Second, follow the way of the elephant (that sounds soooo Zen) and re-purpose yourself into something else. I mean if elephants can transform themselves from laborers to artists, it stands to reason (or raison) that humans could do the same thing. If I were human and hadn’t figured this out (when an elephant can), I would not admit it.

Okay, gotta run but before I go, here’s the question of the day from Jackson who asked: My mom and dad brought a new dog home. Worse, it’s another puppy. She’s annoyingly cute and is gobbling up all the attention. How can I get my parents to realize I was here first and therefore I should get more attention than the new kid? Besides, I’m easier to deal with because the new baby is a little A.D.D.

Dear Jackson:

Jet, my foster mom told this story about her mother (Doris) who had about 13 brothers and sisters in her family. (Wow! What a litter!) In any case, Jet said that one Christmas when her mother and all the other umpteen kids in the family gathered around to get their presents, each child received a candy cane. (A treat for humans.) This was the depression era and times were REALLY tough but geez what a bummer only getting a candy cane. Most dogs get more than treats for Christmas.

In any case, all the kids scampered off to enjoy their candy except Jet’s mom. They had so many kids they forgot to buy a candy cane for her. When Jet’s grandmother realized what happened, she took an old bottle of perfume with a little fragrance left in it, wrapped it up in tissue and gave it to Doris like a ‘special’ gift just for her.My point of telling this story is twofold so listen up. One, be glad your parents only brought one new dog home instead of a dozen puppies (babies). Two, human parents have plenty of love for you and many other critters. This is why there are so many of us and so few of them. Give the high-strung fur ball a chance to settle in awhile. In time, your parents will find her bouncing-off-the-wall style annoying and they’ll be pouring the love all over you again.


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Mid-Life Crisis

So, a lot of my buddies are going through a tough time. It seems many of their owners’ friends are going through a mid-life crisis that sometimes puts our parents in a funk.

Yogi Berra would describe this as self-prescribed preoccupation with self. In the human world, this life stage is defined by stupid decision-making, (I’m going to quit my job and reinvent myself) by empty promises, (I’m going to get my high school physique back) by dumb mistakes (I’ll buy a Harley even though I don’t like motorcycles) by silly trade-ins (good spouses for trophy wives). What are these people thinking? Oh yea, they aren’t thinking… I think it’s like when dogs go in heat. We’re obsessed about one thing and all our other faculties are in the toilet.

I digress.

Here’s my take on this… If you want to reinvent yourself, this is America, just do it but do it because you yearn for doing something better and more meaningful with your life not because you don’t like your life. No matter how much you spend (unless you’re Demi Moore), you will not look like you did in high school. (Note how cute Demi looks with her dog:

Plus, you were really lame in high school so who wants that again. My foster Mom got her figure back (not sure where she lost it…) and she says it makes her feel great but not younger. I think she’s a fox and that the two of us should easily get a date now. I don’t get the need for looking “younger”. When you feel great isn’t that enough?

Here’s my advice. RENT a Harley. Do NOT buy one until you’re sure you’re really diggin’ the ride and the monthly payment. Remember that trade-ins are for car dealerships not spouses. Trophies are made of metal, they look good but they are hollow inside and are easily bent. Enough said.

Finally, the next time one of your master’s buddies is going through a mid-life crisis, get them a dog and a place on the water. Water is a gathering place for peaceful contemplation (isn’t my vocabulary cool), for family gatherings, picnics, fun, laughter, cricket-clicking nights and stargazing. A dog will fill the hole in their life created by doing meaningless work for too long. The hole will not get filled with frivolous gestures or purchases. Once the hole is filled in, the crisis will end. A good laugh helps too. Watch funny videos like this one featuring Yogi Berra and the duck:



A mid-life crisis is such a short spell in the scheme of things where as the love of a dog is forever. Why would anyone trade one for the other?

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Gucchi who asked: Why is it that I am named after a famous designer but my mom and dad don’t buy me designer stuff?

Dear Gucchi:
You sound like a human. Shut the bark up and be glad they love you.


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Hand Me Downs

Hi, I’m Parker. I’m a girl dog with a boy name but I think it’s cool. My foster mom – Jet - has a guy’s name so I think my guy name was her way of passing on the love. I’m a hand-me-down dog. - My moniker for fostered pets. Think about it. My original owner handed me down to a new owner, who handed me down to the streets, who handed me down to the pound.

I don’t feel like a hand-me-down anymore. My foster mom rescued me, cleaned up my flea infested, mange-ridden skin, gave me a new collar and bed and put a happy hop back in my step. I am now proudly displayed (with my new hair growing in) at an online adoption center until I find a permanent mom and dad.

In the meantime, my mom says any dog in her home needs a job. She’s a work-a-holic. So, I’m now a columnist or dogumist. (Does that sound too much like a polygamist?) This is my blog. – Easy job, but one Jet finds respectable. It’s actually kinda cool since my real job didn’t work out so good.

Before I was abandoned on the streets, I had a job as a pet and companion for my owner. Jet says he is a pecker head for throwing me away like garbage. I don’t know what that word means but because of the way she says it, I know it’s not real nice.

(-Works for me.) In any case, I think being a pet means you should be petted (not beaten) and being a companion has nothing to do with being abandoned.

Companion: (defined) One who accompanies another for a period of time; a comrade, a partner.

After being a companion to dumps, highways, cars, ditches and cardboard boxes, I can tell you being a companion to a good human (my old one was a pecker head) is awesome.

Do you have any idea what it’s like to wake up every day in a warm, dry home, surrounded by hugs, toys (now there’s something to talk about) and plenty of food? We even get treats. I sure learned that word fast. I think humans, especially Americans (since mom says I am an American) should remember how lucky they really are, realize how much they have compared to most people on other land masses.


Okay, here’s the question of the day from Boss who asked:

Why, if my name is Boss (human term for alpha dog) is my owner allowed to tell me what to do all the time?

Dear Boss:
It may seem like you are being bossed (no pun intended) around but humans are really here to serve us so be at peace that your title has real power. But, as Spiderman learned, with great power, comes great responsibility.


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