Litter is for Losers

Adventuring in to new places with Jet (my foster mom) is one of my favorite pastimes. Jet took me to long, shaded walkway that led to a park. On the upside, it was great to check out a new place. On the downside, the trail leading to the park was cluttered with litter. I asked Jet about all the garbage and she said that some humans sometimes throw down trash where they sleep, work or play.

If you’ve read my previous emails you know that I discovered that most humans find garbage so special that they place it in special cylindrical containers for big trucks to pick up and take to trash heaven. If trash is so special then why would other humans throw it on the playground where it gets in the way of fun. Plus, it doesn’t look so nice.

I posed this question to Jet who said it was a conundrum (word of the day). She was not quite clear herself what would motivate someone to put trash where it gets in the way and looks bad rather than walk 15’ to a trashcan and dump the garbage where it could be taken to trash heaven.

It seemed like a case for Detective Dog (my secret persona) and so I went to www.greenecoservices.com to find a profile (very FBI type) of the typical litter offender:

- 75% of Americans Admit to Littering within the last 5 years.
- Most common litter offenders- Men between 18-34 years
- Smokers
- People who eat at Fast Food places at least 2x per week
- Drives more than 50 miles/day
- People who go out for entertainment at least 1 x per week

If this is you, stop being a jerk and pick up your sorry bee-hind and your trash and walk your garbage to the right place. If this is not you, read on.

So, here’s my lesson of the day… Littering is for lazy, no-good sorts. I figure if you’re lazy enough to litter you’re also probably lazy enough to dump a dog when you get tired of messing with it. I know humans are supposed to be extra special (compared to insects and animals) but I’m pretty sure God thinks litter types (that dump garbage or animals) are not anymore special than the scum that sticks to my feet when I walk through the nearby pond. Seriously, litter is for losers so think twice next time you consider throwing away your trash in the wrong place.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Murdoch who asked: I’m wondering how to convince my parents to give me more toys. Any suggestions?

Dear Murdoch:

I quote one of Nokona’s favorite musical philosophers (Mick Jagger) when I say: You can’t always get what you want.

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