Why Not Say What You Mean?

Life is so complicated. Humans, who are supposedly smarter than us, make things so complicated. So I ask, “How smart can they be?”

Case in point: my foster mom (Jet) says that women will often ask a man, “Do I look fat in this red dress?” Jet says everyone loses in these situations because no one actually says what they really want to say.

She points out that what the woman really wants is a little sincere, loving attention from the one she loves. She already knows if she looks fat (or not) in the dress. The guy loses, so says Jet, because if she looks bad in the dress but he says no, then she knows he’s lying. That’s bad. If he says that she doesn’t look to great in the red dress then he’s telling the truth. Apparently that’s bad too. If he’s delicate, he might salvage the situation. For example, he might say, “The red dress is nice on you but I love the way you look even more in your new blue dress.” (Very nicely done dude.) Jet says a man’s mouth and mind are about as coordinated in these situations as a Texas Longhorn in a china shop.

Now, I’m just a dog but it seems to me that humans should just say what they mean, bark the bark so to speak, and everything would be easier between the male and female humans. Let me explain.

If the girl human needs a hug or pat on the head by the guy human, she should say so. Take my friend Piper for example. If she wants to play, she runs up to my face with a toy. If she’s cold, she pulls the blanket down off the couch, if she is in a pissy mood, she growls and then snaps at me. Simple. Direct. (Note: you can see her pissy mood in the photo.)

Next time things get a bit out of sorts, and you feel the tension between two humans getting out of control, Jet says you have three choices to resolve the situation.

a. Send them both to a corner like three year olds for a time out
b. Give them a martini and tell them to chill out, or
c. Tell them to say what they really mean

I love multiple choice.

Okay, here’s the question of the day from Tippi who asked: My birthday is coming up. I sure would like something special but I’m not sure what to tell Mom and Dad to get me for the big day.

Dear Tippi:

Humans have a fun ritual (habit) when they celebrate their birthday. They give the birthday person a round, fluffy pancake-looking thing they call a cake. It has sticks poking out of the top with a magic light on top of each one. The birthday human blows up their mouth and spits on the lights and they disappear and then everyone eats the cake. It must taste as good as a treat because they eat it with vigor. (My word of the week.)

Tippi, you need a cake too. - Preferably an eating kind and a toy kind. Your human can make you the cake as long as the ingredients are good for dogs and they can get you a toy birthday cake like the one below at:
http://www.dogtoys.com/birthdaycakes4.html


Happy Birthday!

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